AMD. Emotions.

 

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We all suffer loss at some time in our lives.

The feeling of loss comes from losing something precious.

A loved one, a loved possession or perhaps moving from a beloved place.

It can be a loss of a limb, of our hearing and our independence perhaps.

In the case of Aged-related Macular Degeneration, it is a gradual loss, but there comes the point where you have to accept that it is never going to get better.

(Some people like to claim that it can get better because there are treatments available outside of the NHS in the United Kingdom, but I have looked into that, and it depends on what type of AMD you have.)

I want to share with you my journey with this problem because I can see that there is such a lack of information about what people are actually experience. I did not know about the darkness, distortion, light sensitivity and other problems. I just thought that it was a matter of losing central vision.

Now I want others to know what to expect or what their relatives or friends are experiencing. I do understand that there are no two cases alike. Each person’s  experience will be as different as each of the millions of others who have it.

Yesterday after suffering from dry AMD for two years, and then a further nine months with WET MD, I finally reached the point where I had to face up to the fact that it is never going to be better than it is now.

I am currently waiting for the point where my eyesight has degenerated to the NICE guidelines, so that I can start having injections to slightly improve the sight or at least arrest the deterioration. (Injections cost the NHS £1000 each.)

In the last two weeks, I have been experiencing distortion, and I thought that my eyes had reached the necessary point.  So I was surprised when the consultant said that there was no difference on the scan from four weeks ago.

When I asked why I have the distortion suddenly, he replied that he was surprised that I had not had it before.

He also explained that I only have it in my GOOD EYE!

It is weird how I have struggled seeing out of my bad eye, all of my life, but now the good eye is so bad that the bad one sees clearer!

He also explained that the injections might slightly improve the sight again, and they will most likely maintain the sight that I have. But it is worth repeating that the sight has to get worse before it gets better.

This is where the conundrum comes in. I suddenly realised that the sight I have now would never be any better because they will not give me the jabs until it gets worse. Therefore it is never going to be any better than it is now.

Does that make sense? My emotions went into a dip yesterday when I realised that deep down I was hoping that the injections were going to make things better.

I hope that this blog makes sense to you and you can understand what I am trying to say.

I am firing this off early in the morning before a busy, but enjoyable day out in Falmouth in Cornwall with some friends. I am so grateful for that.

A very kind liaison lady came to see me at the Eye Infirmary yesterday, and she gave me some anti-glare goggles to place over my glasses, for the light sensitivity. She was there for me and listened and reassured me that I would never completely lose my sight unless anything else goes wrong other than the MD.

So I have a lot to be grateful for. But I wanted to share this to my groups on Facebook, and others who may find it when looking up AMD on the internet. Just to help people understand this condition that bit better.

I am also grateful for the lovely people in my local MD group in Plymouth, for their company and understanding. When we eat out once a month, we can sit and laugh and feel somewhat normal, even with the enlarged print menus that the restaurants provide!

 

 

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Vital or Redundant in Ageing?

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The Cambridge definition of the word “Vital” is;

Necessary for the success or continued existence of something; extremely important.

The Cambridge definition of the word “redundant” is;

Unnecessary because it is more than is needed.

Which category do you think you fit into?

 

I am determined that I fit into the vital one. I have decided that right up until the day when I die, I will not become redundant.

Because I know that what you think is what you get, I know that this will happen. I want to be vital to my family, friends and all those that I come into contact with.

You may be thinking that this is a huge claim to make. None of us knows what is going to happen to us from day to day. We may think we have a fair idea, and we make plans, but often those plans don’t come to fruition.

But being vital is all about what we make of those times when things go wrong. It is what we see in them and what we make of them.

Yesterday we took my 94-year-old Mother to an outpatient’s appointment at the hospital. She is very frail, so we needed to hire the use of a special taxi to take her in a wheelchair. When we were coming back, the taxi driver fell off the ramp leading into the taxi, and the wheelchair and Mum fell sideways off the ramp and landed on top of the taxi driver.

At first, we thought that everyone had been injured, and that could well have been the case. But as we were in the hospital car park, there were medics on the scene very quickly.

No one sustained any injuries; I was glad to be able to leave it to the experts and just observe what was happening.

The outcome was good, and even though my mother can be difficult at times, it is her plucky spirit that keeps her going. I saw a different side of her, the grim determination to be vital, kept her from being kept in hospital overnight.

When she saw my brother later in the evening, she joked that she was all shook up like Elvis.

Yes, the thing could have turned out to be more serious, and we might all have been thinking differently this morning. I am not going to go into the idea that someone was taking care of her because often that can seem too high-minded to many people. But the thing is that it all turned out to be well.

The taxi company gave us a free ride home, the wait in Casualty was only an hour, my Mum saw the funny side of it and is feeling grateful that things were ok. The taxi driver was unhurt and so was Mum.

There were so many good things that came out of the incident. There was the sense of caring and expertise from the staff on the scene, and I was able to relax and surrender my Mums care to them.

The fact that I can see the funny side of it, the fact that I can see the good that came out of it and the fact that all was well; is being vital.

If I were feeling redundant at my age now, I would probably have just seen how awful it all was. I could have felt redundant when I had to leave the matter to the experts. I could be thinking that the taxi driver was an idiot. I could be cursing the fact that the dogs had peed on the carpet when we eventually got home!

But my strongest feeling this morning is one of gratefulness and knowing that we are all vital, as long as we are alive.

No person needs to feel redundant. Even those elderly people suffering from dementia, are vital. Those who are very ill and dying, at any age are vital.

Even that person who “Gets on your Wick” has a place in the world.

So are you vital or redundant?

I know that I am vital, and that’s why I am Ageing with Vitality.

Just an after-thought here. My definition of being vital does not mean that we have to have the body or energy of a forty-year-old! That may be possible for some, but please don’t run away with the idea that if you are feeling less energetic than you were in your forties, that does not prevent you from being vital!happycherry_cover

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Vision and Purpose as we Age.

 

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Many may say that at the age of 72, all you need to worry about is looking after yourself. Your health, your wealth and your welfare.

Yes, folks that is so true.

Taking care of ageing bodies is vital for your health, by *eating sensibly, keeping active and taking good care of the financial situation. Care of your appearance is also important, and hygiene with your personal care and surroundings is essential for general well-being.

Keeping active in the sense of exercise, such as walking, swimming or weight supporting activities, is also something to keep those bones and the cardiovascular system healthy.

And what about your Spiritual and mental wellbeing?

Meditation* is fast becoming one of the ways that people are getting in touch with something more than the outer body and world.

Spirituality, awareness and consciousness is a great purpose as we age.

Yesterday I went to a casual meeting of Damsels, (A national movement called Damsels in Success for women) in which we made up our vision boards for what we want.

Contrary to many older people’s beliefs, there is nothing wrong with wanting things, as long as we are not taking them away from others.

But we were all reminded that our wants are not just about things.

We thought about our purpose too.

We need to think about what we want in the way of why we are here, our legacies to the world in the way of wisdom, service to the planet as a whole and spreading love and peace. How we want to be in our interactions with people, and how we want the world to remember us.

Younger people tend to think about purpose as being what their careers may be or how they can serve the world and make a living doing what they love. That is the natural course of life.

But as we age, it is a good idea to look at our purpose in the last what could be thirty or forty years of our lives.

We had a lot of fun yesterday, and there were some children there too. Adult children and young children alike were absorbed in finding pictures in magazines. Cutting and gluing and arranging the pictures.

Now my vision board is sitting on the wall in my office, and it is going to be interesting to see how it develops.

I did a vision board about two years ago, and three quarters of it came to fruition. So this idea works. It is mainly to help to focus on what you really want in life.

I have published my vision board above for you to see. Some of it is not very clear, but I hope that you will get the gist.

There are holidays that I want to go on and clothes that I want.

On the right-hand side, you can see a picture of an audience. That is a vision I have for speaking to larger audiences. So far they have been quite small.

There is a picture of a choir, well actually I already belong to one.

The picture of Helen Merrin contains the words “Gold not Old”. I am aware that I cannot change my older looks, and the wrinkles, but I want people to see past the wrinkles and see the gold of kindness and support to others.

On the left is a beautiful garden in which I can visualise myself sitting. We only have a small garden where I am living, and gardening is not my forte. But year after year and with some patience, I am gradually building up something like the illustration. But you never know, one day something or someone may turn up to help me make a better job.

There are several little sentences that I found such as “Home is where the heart is”  “See the beauty in everything”  “Why be dull?”

There is also a sentence at the bottom that clinches it all. “Signed Sealed and Delivered”

That means that I believe that it will happen. The Universe always has our best welfare in mind. I never cease to be amazed at the synchronicities that happen every day for me.

I am not saying that life is golden, and things are not tough for me at times, but when they are I am aware of the fact that the Universe does indeed have my welfare in mind because it has everyone’s welfare in mind. We are all part of that whether we are aware of it or not.

What is your vision and purpose for the rest of your life?

*There are blogs on these subjects on my Website, patriciacherrylifecoach.com
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The Mystery of Ageing.

My design Keep your eye.

A similar word to that of Mystery is Mastery, isn’t it?

While contemplating my own ageing process this morning, it has dawned on me that there is a lot around us these days about anti-ageing, conscious ageing, and even with myself “Ageing with Vitality.”

I have been through a transition in my life over the last couple of months, and the main theme of that transition has been “Surrender”. (Which I have written about in the previous few articles.) http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com/blog/

During that transitioning process, it has been a revelation to me that I simply cannot be in control of my own ageing. I cannot be the Master of my destiny.

However much I work at how to age consciously and with awareness, this still does not mean that I can control the outcome.

Ageing does bring about physical impairment, cognitive impairment and some amount of dependence.

I am watching the process of my Mothers very old years. In this process I am constantly reminded of my own ageing.

We are almost bombarded by stories of marvellous old people who are doing wonderful things at certain ages. Skydiving, marathon running, etc.  Somehow ageing in a normal way is seen as a failure.

This is the mystery of ageing. We like to think that if we do this or if we do that, we won’t get old so quickly. We are putting off the evil day, as it were.

But think of the word mystery. We love to read a good mystery. We watch detective stories and love to try and solve who did it. As children, many of us used to read Enid Blyton Mysteries. Part of the excitement was the exploration.

Now, personally, I am exploring the world of ageing. I am facing my own mystery of ageing. Some of it is in shadow, and there are certainly shadow aspects in ageing.1992 - 1999 021

But I want to live in the light of ageing, which will in turn light up the shadow side.

So while I cannot be the master of my ageing process, I can be seeing it as a great adventure. I can be excited at the discovery of the mystery of ageing.

I had a vision this morning of an adult person putting up a large silk tent. The colour was lemon and lilac. Underneath that tent, which was billowing, there was a small child waiting to put his little red tent up. Waiting for the adult to show him what to do.

At the time of this vision, I was meditating and thinking of how my Mother was at the age I am now. I am learning from her how to age and how not to age. I am hoping that the lessons that I am learning will stand me in good stead for when I am 94 years old.

I am learning from my Mother, how to put up my little red tent!

But the main thing is that I have already learnt today, at 7 am, that there is a narrow line between Mystery and Mastery.

I cannot control, or master my ageing process, but I can enter the mystery with wonder, and a sense of learning, discovery and spirituality.

Have you considered your ageing?

Are you in denial that it will happen?

Are you hoping to Master the outcome?

Or, are you going to see it as a big, scary adventure and solve the mystery of how to age with vitality and be in the light.

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A Tale of Ageing Romance.

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I thought that I would just share with you today an amusing and true story.

It is never too late for romance, is it?

Back in the late 1970’s, my Grandad was in a Residential Home for the Elderly. He was a bit of a loner, loved his own company and his pastime was reading and listening to the radio.

His room overlooked a block of flats, and he started to notice a lady come out onto her balcony every day to feed the birds. One day she looked up and saw Grandad watching her, and waved.  After a while, waving to one another every day became a routine

Then one day, she wasn’t there. Day after day he would look out of the window in the hopes of seeing her again. But it never happened.

One day he went to the dining room for his lunch, and a new lady was sitting opposite to him at the table.

It was her!!!

They now became good friends, and because neither of them wanted the entertainment and jollity of the Residents Lounge, they took to visiting one another in their respective rooms.

Humans beings love a gossip, and soon my Grandad and his beloved friend became the centre of gossip in the Home. One day Grandad was called to the “Matrons” office. “I was on the mat again,” he said. This was his way of describing it. He was always a bit of a rebel, and he used to be forever “On the mat in front of Matron!”

He was asked to please stop visiting this lady in her room, as it was causing quite a lot of unrest in the Home. But they both knew their rights and stuck to their guns. All they wanted to do was talk about their views of life and be in each others company as the good friends that they had become. In the quietness and privacy of their own rooms.

While at home one evening, when I answered the phone, there was the Matron. My mother was living 300 miles away, and the Matron could not get hold of her. But she was in a panic, because;

Grandad had gone out in the morning in a taxi, and come back with a special licence to get married the very next day!

I immediately phoned my Auntie, who was married to Grandads son, and we decided that we had better go into the Registry office to be witnesses to this wedding. The bride was 80, and the bridegroom was 81.

So there we were, in the registry office the next morning, all four of us, but even though we had contacted my Mother and her brother, it was too late for anyone to be there, who did not live in the immediate vicinity. Matron was devastated as she would have put on a “bit of a do.”

As it was, we left the registry office, my grandad sat on the wall outside and said that perhaps we could all go and get some pasties! That was their wedding reception.

But, although they did not do things the way that everyone else thought they should, they were happy, and Matron moved them into a double room together. Their chairs were near enough so that they could hold hands and watch TV. They both had about two years of married life, companionship and above all as far as Grandad was concerned, they had “Put paid to the gossip,”

Grandad was a rebel, and he was a good example of thinking for yourself and getting his needs met. He knew what he wanted, and got it. He used to say; I will never be happy without my beloved wife and Mother of my children, but I will always be content.

I like to think that in his last days, with his woman friend beside him, he at least glimpsed happiness on top of his contentment.

I would love to hear any stories you may have of people you know who found romance and companionship in the older years.

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Why wait to be Happy?

 

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It is a chicken and egg situation.

Are you living for tomorrow and getting everything together hoping it will make you happy?

Or are you happy, and then everything starts to come together?

The latter is what is meant by living in the Now.

Many people spend every day trying to achieve things in the belief that one day everything will come together and at last they will be happy.

The shiny new car, the big house, meeting a partner, studying for qualifications and even trying to lose weight, are all in the future, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Indeed, there is everything right about it.

BUT be careful that in trying to achieve that utopia, you don’t lose everything that you already have.

Peace of mind, loving and being loved, being healthy, active and mindful, are all things that will help you to achieve what you want in future, but don’t sacrifice them along the way eh?

Be happy while you are being active in pursuing what you want.

Be aware of those around you who love you and want your company.

Be active and keep yourself fit.

Eat the right healthy foods and feed your body the proper nourishment.

Be mindful of that inner voice or source that is guiding you.

Be aware of the power of now.

Be happy and everything you want will be attracted to you because you will have created it that way. 

Namaste

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Ageing & the Law of Vibration.

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Good Vibes and bad vibes is something that is used in everyday language isn’t it?

Have you ever stopped to think about what the expression “vibes” really means?

It is an expression that is short for the Law of Vibration!

How can this have anything to do with the experience of ageing?

If you think about how you use that expression, it is usually in conjunction with someone or something that we either feel good or bad about. Perhaps when someone gets onto the bus or tube and somehow you feel uneasy. Or if someone starts to smile and laugh, we find ourselves smiling or laughing with them.

Maybe you put off doing something because you didn’t have good vibes about it.

Think about what the vibes of a snarling dog looking at you feels like! Or even some people who snarl!

What ways will this law affect your ageing process?

One way is to become aware of who you mix with. Sometimes we feel depressed when we leave someone who is a difficult or miserable person to be with.

Or we can come away laughing and full of joy when we have been with someone who is happy.

How will you leave your visitors or friends?

Another is to be in an environment where you feel uncomfortable, maybe a club or pub, or a group of people who just talk about the “terrible news” or are running someone down, or their latest visit to the GP, with all the gory details.

Our brains are very sensitive to vibrations in the atmosphere. Take a football match. The crowd can be happy and excited. The thrill of cheering their team on and the singing can be so magical. You get caught up in the vibration of energy and it sends shivers down your spine.

Or it can turn the other way, and get ugly. Before you know it there is a riot and you are terrified.

Good vibes and bad ones.

IMG_0092As you age, life can be a wonderful experience. I certainly have found it so. I now mix with people who think like me in ALL age groups. I do not see the people who used to transmit misery and depair and I ended up depressed and feeling hopeless when leaving them because I was allowing myself to pick up their vibes.

Does the Senior Citizens club meet your needs? Or if you are younger and reading this, do you dread the thought of the senior citizens club?

I believe that Baby Boomers are changing this scenario. I believe that we will be doing better things than going on an outing and having fish and chips on the way home! (For those who do not live in the UK, this is something that many senior citizens clubs do!)

There are many groups on line that you can find to discuss this. There is the Ageing with Vitality group on Facebook. There will be ideas and I will pass on information of other groups that we can look at.

There is also a new group, which I am adding in an edited version of this blog in May 2017, called The Silver Tent. Lots of exciting things happening there, and as it grows there will be physical groups to join as well.

How are you going to use the Law of Vibration in your life now, and as you get older?

Are you going to make the rest of your life the best of your life, by being aware of how the Law of Vibration is active in your life?

Or are you just going to pass the time and go on Senior Citizens outings?

 

http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com

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Ageing and Calorie Restriction.

 

 

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http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011L100OC http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B011L100OC

Today I thought you may be interested in looking at the positive side of calorie restriction.

If you follow my writings and books, you will know that I advise people not to count calories.

However what I do say is that we need to be aware of them.

There are some regimes around that encourage people to just eat as much as they like as long as they eat natural foods, without any additives, or processing and have been adulterated out of all recognition of how food was meant to be consumed by humans.

This is so true!

Many people find that once they do eat naturally they do not crave more food than their body needs, so the amount of calories that they consume is reduced automatically.

This will work if you have never had problems with bingeing, sugar addiction, or eating disorders.

1(For more on bingeing problems and the results that they can leave you with, you can obtain a FREE report from me without subscribing, by sending me a private email requesting one, I will return it to you with a promise to not keep sending you more emails. trishcherry734@gmail.com)

 

As we grow older, the body naturally reduces the appetite. So therefore we need to trust what our body is telling us, and eat less.

Simples!

We all have a source within us that is not being heard or listened to.

As history has progressed and we have moved further away from nature and that source, we are losing the ability to be aware of what our body actually needs.

Have a look at how aware you are as you grow older.

One way of telling if you eat too much is whether you suffer from indigestion!

If you eat a moderate amount of natural foods then this will not happen.

(However the body may be suffering from digestive disorders because of the abuse we gave them with the onslaught earlier in life, even if we did not binge, but simply ate the wrong foods. It is never too late to change that.)

So when you hear about restrictive intake of calories, just remember that the essential thing is to;

  1. Be aware of what your body is telling you.
  2. Only eat natural wholesome foods.
  3. Stay away from sugary, starchy, processed junk.
  4. Watch your portions.
  5. Stop eating when you are full.

Then the calories will take care of themselves without going to the extreme measures of plates full of nothing but leaves!

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http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00O3HGHNK

– http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00O3HGHNK

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No Such Thing as a Senior Moment!

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Most of you will be surprised at the fact that there is no such thing as a senior moment!

When a child leaves his coat behind at school, or her lunch box is sitting in the kitchen because she forgot to take it, do we say that they are having a senior moment?

But somehow we blame this memory incident on ageing. Starting from around the age of forty and in some cases even younger, we start to worry about whether it’s to do with our age. Don’t!

Brain cells do not die off with age. There may be other reasons such as disease. Or (I love this one) “Lack of Use!” Use it or lose it. 

We all forget what we went upstairs for, or what we were going to say, no matter what our age.

But this is more often out of not registering the data in the first place, or being distracted by other thoughts before we get to the bedroom or saying what we were going to say.

For more information on this, read The Age Heresy by Tony Buzan. (You Can Acheive More Not Less as You Get Older.)

By perpetuating the myth, and believing that it is true, you are activating the Law of Attraction! 

What you think is what you get!

So, to help you to remember, first of all FORGET! 

Forget the myth and register the data in the first place.

One way of doing this is to say it out loud to yourself before going upstairs, what you are going up there for. What I do is to imagine that I am still downstairs and what I was doing when I first thought of it.

I also keep notebooks. One in my handbag, (you can get small ones for wallets and handbags) Or of course those who are savvy with technology can use their mobile phones. Particularly the voice recorder.

Forget the myth and do not perpetuate it. Think about the six year old!

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Age Discrimination or Just Ignorance?

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I am noticing more and more when filling in forms how people over 65 and above are just lumped together in one age bracket!

Yet life after 65 these days can be another 30 or even 40 years!

Is it any wonder that people dread ageing?

Be aware, be conscious, be mindful.

65 is not old!!! As for 75, 85, or 95 the old saying “You are as young as you feel” comes to mind.

Yes, as we grow older we do have our limitations, but you will find that you can be very active within those limitations.

Don’t be lumped in with a label, just because you are over 65.

Don’t let these little quirks like being discriminated as just “65 and Over” be your reality.

Make life beyond 65 a new beginning!

Make life after retirement, creative, wise and fulfilling!

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