Who are They?

025The Elderly are not they.

Children are not they.

People with different colored skin are not they.

People from other countries are not they.

The rich are not they.

The poor are not they.

Disabled people are not they.

Beautiful people are not they.

Ugly people are not they.

I could go on with many categories that seem to seperate us all. But the point to remember is that they are us!

We are part of the whole. Part of the Universe.

Each of us has been placed in our corner of the world. Some may move around, others may stay in one place.

Some may be in the limelight. Others may go about their lives in a quiet way and only known and recognised by a few.

When we talk about people, or refer to them as “they,” remember that we are all one body. All one piece of a massive energy.Galaxy

We were all once babies. If we survive illnesses or remain healthy we will be old one day. We could become disabled.

Our perception is the only difference in how we notice the colour of our skin or whether we are beautiful or not. We may consider ourself rich or we may consider ourself poor.

 Everything is relative, everything is part of a whole.

We were all born and we are all going to die.

None of us knows what tomorrow, or even today will bring. Anyone of us could suddenly become “they” and things can change in an instant.

Or if we don’t become they, we could grow close to someone and be a huge part their lives and no longer feel seperate.

Therefore we need to love one another as we love ourselves. Not judge others, but put yourself in their place and try and understand what it would be like to be in their shoes.

You may be in them tomorrow!

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Yeh But!

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Are you going to enjoy the cherry blossom this Spring? Not long now. 

Or are you going to say “Yeh but it doesn’t last long and look at the mess it makes.”

There is so much to be grateful for don’t you think? Yet there are many who are griping about the state of the world, or their life circumstances, or anything else that they can think of.

How wonderful that you had a day out with the kids?  YEH BUT… is the reply.

Isnt the weather lovely?   Yeh But………

You came through your surgery alright then?  Yeh But……..

I hear you have had promotion at work?  Yeh But………..

And on and on.

I have had conversations with homeless people. Others who are bankrupt. Still others who are elderly and infirm.

 People who are ill or grieving from loss perhaps.

In other words, people who really do have something to gripe about in the eyes of society. But somehow they still manage to see the bright side of things. They still inspire the good in others.

One homeless woman with whom I got into converstaion, was grateful that she had a lot of friends who were also homeless. They have good times together, not one negative word out of her. I came away feeling blessed and grateful.

I saw a post on Facebook this morning by someone who needed to attend A & E, but instead of complaining she said that she was grateful for the kind attention of the staff, even though they were rushed off their feet and she had to wait a long time.

Another good example is of an elderly lady whom I looked after, she only had one breast, one leg. one eye and was in a wheelchair. Yet we care assistants loved attending to her needs, because she always cheered us up. She used to say that when they bury her the cost will be half price!

If you are constantly looking for the dark side of everything, or dwelling on the past, then the chances are that you are not living consciously. The chances are also very strong that you will get what you are thinking about and be miserable no matter what you do.

Are YOU unsconcious of all the good things around you?

Do you want to be subjective to these thoughts? Or do you want to live in gratefulness?

It is possible to make the choice.

Are you living an abundant life? Do you know what that means?

Or are you living in a “Yeh But” world and only seeing what you do not have?

 

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The Unity of Ageing.

And God felt bored. So He decided to invent the Law of Diversity!

The Unity of Ageing.

We are all one substance, right down to the last molecule.

This has become a well-known fact. We are a Unity, part of one vast Universe.

Rocks, plants, earth, animals and humans are all one.autumn2011 031012

Yet we humans continue to live in separation.

We show this with war, putting people into a class or caste structure, wealth and poverty and religion.

We also tend to put age groups into structures too. We fail to see that we are all one unity no matter what age we are.

Children, adolescents, adults, middle age and old.

All these titles are well recognised in society as something “we are” at any given age. Children are in the 0 to 15 age group, adolescents from 13 to 21 and so on.

But have you noticed the tendency to keep changing the title of people over the age of 60?

There are young elderly, elderly, advanced citizens, and so forth. Even the grammar check that I use comes up with “this is a politically incorrect statement” if I use the words “old people!”

When we are filling in forms, the age brackets are broken down until they reach the age of 65. 20-30, 30-40 and so on then when the age of 65 is reached it becomes 65+

How often do you hear people talking about “The Elderly”.

How often do you hear people talking about “The Middle aged?”

I bet that you hear the first expression far more often.

If we don’t die tragically at a much younger age, we are all going to become old!

Older people are not some separate being; they are us at an older age.

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If we did not have the human invention of clocks and calenders, I wonder how old we would actually feel?

But we fail to recognise this fact. We often fail to recognise that old people have “been there and done that”. They have been through some of the stuff that younger people will go through.

We seem to drift through life thinking of old age as some distant entity and deny that fact for as long as we can.

I have done that myself, up until very recently. I have thought that I would be one of the elderly people who can still climb a mountain or go skydiving at the age of ninety.

But now, I have realised that it  “’ain’t goin’ to ‘appen!”

However, that does not put me into a category of just sitting back and getting old.

What it has done is help me to put my priorities right, start taking my lower energy into account and asking every day what my function is for today. Never mind next week, next month or next year.

But life is still a big adventure, and ageing can be too. 

Yes, I can make plans, but I also have to bear in mind that something may stop me, and surrender to whatever it is.

These last sentences are only personal experience. The point that I want to make is;

We are all one Unity, and that means that old people are simply young people who have been on the planet a bit longer than their young counterparts. They are not a separate entity.

Live your life, enjoy your youth but always bear in mind that you can have a good life in your latter days. It is all down to perception.

I shall write about perception in my next blog.

Namaste.

If you want to read more on a different and conscious way of Ageing with Vitality then look up http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.comhappycherry_cover

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Ageing is not just about “ME”

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In my previous blog, we discussed Ageing with Intention.

http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com/blog/

It has occurred to me that we could misunderstand the true purpose of ageing with intention, ageing with consciousness or ageing with vitality.

The world is becoming a very challenging place in which to live. It has always been challenging of course, but life was much simpler and up until as recently as 100 years ago, life for most of us was within the boundaries of our physical locality.

Certainly, I can remember as a child just sixty years ago, thinking of the world outside as a dangerous and threatening place. I had not even visited London, which was just 250 miles away, until the age of 14.

Our biggest challenge in those days was to leave school and get a decent job. Our social life was the Saturday night out, usually at the local dance hall. These were the days of rock and roll, coffee bars and the cinema.

These days, we travel worldwide. On returning from holiday only last week, I remember remarking to my friend, “I’m worn out, and I have only travelled from Germany!”  Only travelled from Germany? In one day, coach, plane and train!  Even as I said it, I thought how ridiculous that remark was in the light of the progress humans have made in the last 72 years since I came to this planet.

During the days of the Baby Boomers, life has changed out of all recognition. Those of you reading this as Baby Boomers will know what I mean.

Ageing too has changed for the better.

We have cosmetic surgery, enlightened ways of eating, makeup, groups on Facebook about anti-ageing. Creams, supposedly to help avoid wrinkles, and so on.

But these things are only tackling ageing on the outside.

What about our inner beings? What about the spirit and soul?

There is a shift going on. It is difficult to pinpoint when this shift started. But people began to be disillusioned by the teachings and practice of the church.

They began to see that consumerism is not working. Things were not giving the satisfaction that they imagined it would.

During the 1960’s the notion of the power of love began to take hold. At the time it was seen by our parents as “way out”, or of the devil, it would never last. Drugs were involved, and so the love movement took on something that was evil, way out and needed to be nipped in the bud.

The consequence of this was that drugs took on a powerful means of money making, smuggling, murder and other dire consequences. Young people now live in a world where drugs are sold behind counters in pubs and clubs, as a means of having a good time. Drugs then lead to more crime, misery and death to ordinary people. Life took on a much bigger challenge for these young people.

But, there was another, a better consequence of the love movement.

Love is energy.

Young people began to go to places like India seeking out spiritual masters who taught about the meaning of love. John Lennon was famous for many songs, but the songs “Give Peace a Chance” and “Imagine” came from somewhere deep inside of him. He had been to India too and sat at the feet of a spiritual master.

Skip forward to the present day, and there are many teachers coming forward with inspirational teachings.

So, what has all this got to do with the fact that ageing with vitality is not all about “me”?

In my previous articles, I spoke about ageing with intention and being a wise elder.

When we make a mission out of ageing, with purpose, intention and in a conscious manner, we are doing our bit in our little corner of the world to make life more peaceful and joyous for those coming behind.

By example we can show them that although we have been through tough times, may even be ill, may be physically challenged, they can still expect to learn from us, that there is no room for bitterness and unforgiveness.

In my work with Elderly people, in homes and their own homes, I have seen the effect that people have on the carers and their families and themselves.

One old lady had lost one leg, her breasts and was blind. Yet we loved looking after her because she used to cheer us up. She used to joke that they would save money on her funeral because they would only be burying half of her.

On the other hand, one old chap used to swear and curse us, and we dreaded taking care of him. We learnt afterwards that he had been a man who had abused his family. The point is that it was he who needed to look within. Even though he was living in misery, we still gave him the care that he needed. We did not punish him; he was punishing himself.

Giving and receiving are the same energy.

So to sum up, the point of getting ourselves sorted out while we are still able to, is not just for ourselves, but for the sake of the world at large. We are part of the Universe. The Universe is one big, vast cosmos, everything in it is energy, and you too are made up of that same energy.

Every individual is essential to the growth and survival of it.ConsciousAgingLogo

So can you see that ageing with intention or vitality in a conscious way, is our part of the whole plan?

It is not just about me.

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Ageing with Intention. (Aging)

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A dictionary definition of the word intention is;

An act or instance of determining upon some action or result.

Another definition of the word used by Wayne Dyer who was a great teacher of all things in mind, body and spirit are;

Intention is a field of energy that flows invisibly beyond the reach of our normal, everyday habitual patterns.

Both of these definitions will suit the purpose of this article, which is going to be about our intentions in our ageing process.

Yesterday we talked about surrendering ourselves to the process of ageing. That surrender needs to be done gracefully, with love to ourselves and others and peacefully.

This can be done by ageing with intention.

Intention is a field of energy just like love, determination, fear, and so on. If you look at the blogs on my website for July and August 2015, you will find several articles or blogs on using the Law of Attraction in our ageing process. The Laws of the Universe can be likened to these energies. In short, what you believe is what you get.

So we can use this energy of intention to age with purpose, peace, love and joy.

If we go into our older years, expecting trouble then that is what we will get.

Many of the problems of getting older are real, they are there, and we cannot escape them. It is what we do with these problems and how we deal with them that counts.  In other words, it is our perception that is the key. Along with our intention. 

I hear jokes from people saying that they are “going to make life as difficult as possible for my children as I age!” Another one-liner coming from many Baby Boomers these days is “I’m spending all the children’s inheritance!”

Whether you do or you don’t, let’s consider what difference having an intention can make.

My own intention is to be a Wise Elder to my children, friends, neighbours, grandchildren (if they give me a chance!) I also enjoy writing articles and sharing lots of positive stuff on Social Media. I love the internet and try to use it wisely.

I follow people who I know can teach me something. I do not pretend to know it all, we all learn something every day if we keep an open mind.

Did you know that learning is the best thing that you can do for the health of your brain?

We can also learn from our past. We are constantly told to forget the past, it’s gone, just look to the future.

I am not saying to dwell in the past, or even to blame our past for how we feel now. Some people go through life as the hurt or damaged child and just stay there.

My suggestion is that we can go into our past with a new intention.

Seeing our past as an experience that will help our children and younger people, is a lot different to dwelling in the past and calling the past “The Good Old Days.”

When young people see us “wrinklies” it is easy for them to dismiss us as past it, or too old to understand. But when I recently told a younger person about my experience of bringing up kids alone as a Naval wife, divorce, betrayal and caringsupportwhbankruptcy, they were astonished. And realised that I had been there, and I know what it is like. I was able to identify with what she was going through, and although I would never completely understand, I knew enough to help.

Another intention of mine is to make my older years as full and enjoyable as possible. Starting with being grateful for everything I have, from being able to at least see most things, even though I have a sight problem. Being grateful for a roof over my head, even if it is not in a district that I would like to be. Being grateful that I could walk the extra mile this morning when the bus driver failed to stop at my usual bus stop. Yes, I was annoyed, but it did not take long for me to see the funny side of it, and I just said to her that she is obviously in another world, rather than complain to her.

There is so much to be grateful for. Have a look at this blog that I wrote twelve months ago for more on Ageing with Gratitude.

http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com/category/ageing/page/2/

Notice again Wayne Dyer’s definition.

Intention is a field of energy that flows invisibly beyond the reach of our normal, everyday habitual patterns. 

Notice particularly. The words, beyond the reach of our normal, everyday habitual patterns.

We can make our older years the time to change those habitual patterns in our life. It is not too late. Keep reading and stay with me for more to come.

Start with this intention and you are on the road to having a happy and vital older age.

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Baby Boomers Are Ageing with Vitality!

 

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Baby Boomers are go, go go!! We will Age with Vitality! Let’s show ’em!Fireworks and Gemmas 2013 016

We have had the best of everything apparently. There is also concern that the BB’s are going to be a “burden on Society”.

I want to remind you all that it does not have to be that way!

Yes, we have had a good life.

We grew up being fed on mostly unprocessed food, even though a lot of it was white! Sugar was only available as something you added and not disguised in just about everything you ate.

We had jobs to go to without having to train and have qualifications. Remembering of course that because we had jobs we were paying a fair whack of tax and insurance.

We were free to roam without all the ‘elf and safety rules that are spoiling peoples enjoyment now. But we also took responsibility for our own actions, because we were allowed to!

We saw the feminist movement in action. Which was quite fierce and way out, because it needed to be. We were the generation who needed to get out there Explosionand burn our bra’s.  Our women today are reaping the benefit of those brave women doing that.

We won’t even go there with the ban the bomb brigade, just remember that BB’s were there though!

It was the natural sequence of events to buy your own house, because you were in secure employment and mortgage companies believed in you. The price of housing was well within reach of a good many people’s pockets. Then we went on to benefit from the huge increase in house prices because we already had property. Remember again that they could also end up having to pay for care out of that money if they don’t stay active and vibrant. 

So for many people then, being a BB puts us into a good situation. There are also many people who were not able to benefit from being born in that generation, but those of us who are strong can help them and the younger people coming along.

The same ones who are probably saying that we are going to be a burden on society!

How?

By finding out how you can stay healthy, or become it, and by being an Elder, who uses their wisdom, creativity, energy and strength, and not sit back and just be “old.”

The Baby Boomer generations are those born between 1948 and 1960 (roughly speaking!)

So, some are already retired, some are coming up to retirement, some still have 15 years or so of a working life. These are the ones who say that they will leave it until later. But time waits for no man! Start your preparations now, look at it as insurance! 

There are changes afoot within government, with them expecting people now to work until they are coming up to seventy. For many this is a good thing. They can carry on working and will be able to pick up a bigger pension when they do retire. For others, who do not have as much energy it can be a challenge.

Someone pointed out to me this morning that as a primary school teacher she does not want to be looking after small children every day at getting on for 70!

On a personal note, I have become a Life Coach in my older years and qualified for this at the age of 68. Because I want to be a useful member of society and earning some money to keep myself independent.

So you see the downside of being a BB is that we are now having to deal with changes affecting our wellbeing.

But we can show ’em what we are made of! Becoming conscious, aware and recognise that we can make better choices.

The main thing to bear in mind is that Baby Boomers are an enlightened generation. We are blessed now just as we have been in the past, because we have seen changes and are more able to accomodate those changes than previous generations.

We are also in a new spiritual dimension. Most of us have a choice of what to believe in and we are recognising our inner selves and our part in the “Universe” (See my previous blogs on the Laws of the Universe)

We are also able to recognise that we are valued and therefore as we age we can be a valued member of society and not tucked away just passing time until we die. We can make a valuable contribution to this world. 

Yes there are some downsides to being a Baby Boomer, but yesterday I took part in a programme on my local radio discussing this, and the overall conclusion was that we have been a generation who have enjoyed all the good things in life.

There was some concern expressed about pensions, and low interest rates, and that is a valid point. But just as we need to accept and embrace our ageing, we also need to learn to live within those financial boundaries.

With the use of the internet and all the information that is available, we have no excuse not to find out how we can have a happy, fulfilled and creative Eldership.

If you want to know more, have a look at the blogs and information on my Website.

Let’s carry on passing these good things onto younger human beings, and use our Eldership for their benefit. We can be good for this world and not “a burden on society”.

“We will overcome” was a popular song in the 60’s. We will overcome and accept our ageing with vitality, energy and strength, and we will not go quietly! Let us get back the spirit of Burning Bras and Banning the bomb! 

If you want more inspiration may I point you in the direction of a book. “Do Not Go Quietly”  by Selina and George Cappanelli.

Let us be Conscious Elders!

So come on Baby Boomers, start preparing the way to show ’em that we are going to be an asset to society not a burden! Let us be Ageing with Vitality.

Join in the discussion on “Ageing With Vitality.”

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Ageing and Expectations.(2)

 

 

happycherry_coverFor the second part of looking at expectations for your years of Eldership, there are a few more questions to ask yourself in searching for how conscious you are with ageing.

 

Notice that we have made a transition with titles. From now on I will be referring to older people using the terms Elders, Eldership or Elder.  Not Elderly.

Why? Society uses the word Elderly as a general meaning for anyone over the age of sixty. Taking away our individuality and setting us apart.  It has become a “label” which has come to have negative connotations.

Those of you who take an interest in ageing consciously, including myself, may like to be known by a name or title that gives a more positive connotation. People in the conscious ageing movements that I have come accross, like to be known as Elders, because that word is used in some societies and cultures to mean “Wise one,”  which is what we are. Especially when seeking to make our older years a positive and fulfilling experience both for themselves and those around them.

So let us continue with looking at what your expectations are for Eldership.

  • Are you looking at doing anything about preparing for being an Elder?
  • Are you planning on celebrating your Eldershp?
  • If you have not yet retired do you plan to do so? (We have parties and celebrations for christenings, weddings, 21st birthdays etc., but when are we going to start celebrating stepping into Eldership?)
  • Can you see a way that you could serve your fellow humans and share your wisdom?
  • Is there any sort of “inner work” you think that you would like to look at?

Inner work includes such things as;

  • A life review.
  • Deepening Spiritual connection644412_800778609970925_8712612913312183787_n
  • Accepting mortality
  • Creating a legacy
  • Letting go
  • Forgiveness

We will look at some of the inner work in the next few blogs.

http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com

 

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Ageing & The Law of Polarity.

happycherry_coverWhat is the Law of Polarity? 

‘Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

Alfred Lord Tennyson.

…………………………………………

In the absence of that which we are not, that which we are, is not.

Neale Donald Walsh.

………………………………………….

I love this law and remember it often in my everyday living.

It reminds me of needing to be grateful. Focusing on what I do have and not on what I don’t have.

There is polarity all around us. Hot and cold, soft and hard, happy and unhappy, love and hate, smooth and rough, big and small and so on.

It is indeed better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

A good example of this is with those of us who have pets. Because they have relatively short lives, we experience their loss over and over again. I would not even attempt to count the number of times that I have heard people say “I’m not going to have any more dogs, I’m never going to go through that again!” Yet in weeks or months and sometimes even days, there is the gorgeous new pup. It is not that we forget the previous pet, because every one of them has given us the experience of love, whether given or received and we know that pets give unconditional love. We love to have them around and we live with Tennyson’s mantra don’t we?

When we are going through tough times, it helps to remember the Law of Polarity, there is never an up without a down. If life was happy all the time, we would not appreciate it. The down times remind us that the up times are worth reaching for.

In the absence of that which we are not, that which we are, is not.

A simpler way of putting this is that when you are experiencing tough times, you can use them to learn about what you are made of.

  • You are worthy.
  • You are awesome.
  • You are worth it.
  • You are loved.
  • You have untapped talents.
  • You have knowledge.

Many people are just settling for what they see as their “lot” in life. They are unaware of their own powers and abilities.

There are a growing number of people who are becoming aware of the fact that they need not settle for what they have. They become aware of the absence of what they are not – but also become aware that they could do better- because of the fact that they have experienced what it was like (the absence) to be not. In other words if you are not aware of your ability to change things, then you may settle for what you are in the present moment. Never knowing about the person you could be.

This is the Law of Polarity working in a different way, because you need to become aware that there is a choice. But it is generally when you are having a tough time that you become aware that there are good times. This makes the good times even better than they were before the tough times!

This is one reason why life coaching and personal development is growing at such a rapid pace worldwide now.

People are realising that they do not have to settle for their “lot” in life. This works on two levels.

  • The practice of Gratitude, which is another way of counting your blessings.
  • The becoming aware of your own value and becoming happier.

This in turn becomes the way that people find their creativity and tap into the resources within them that they were never aware of.

So you see, next time you are having a tough time, take comfort in what you may learn about yourself while having that experience. You will be surprised at how this quickens up your recovery.

This applies to illness, bereavement, depression, losing your job, retirement, ageing, having young difficult children, caring for an ageing parent and so on.

I am talking from a place of experience of course, earlier this year I had a time of depression and burn out. But because I had already been made aware of this law I was able to use the time to listen, learn and relax. SDC13676Long walks in the woods and reflecting and what I was learning from this time, got me back on my feet and I am now “glowing” with vitality and yearning to go, go, go. Bear in mind that I am not exactly a sping chicken!

You too could experience this ageing with vitality.

Remember that this is the Law of Polarity and it is in action whether you believe in it or not.

It is part of the Universal laws which keep the universe in motion.banner-790x90

 

 

 

 

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Ageing & the Law of Compensation

autumn2011 031IMG_0137What you sow, so shall you reap.

This is a well known saying, and is an ancient teaching.

Are you sowing beautiful seeds or weeds?

This is the Law of Compensation.

Many people go through life sowing seeds of hate, sorrow, lack, terror, war, crime and misery.

According to the media and news on television, that is what the world is made of.

But we seldom get to hear of all the good seeds that are being sown.

There are millions of people all over the world that are sowing seeds of love, hope, peace, charity, kindness, happiness, gentleness and generosity.

Many of these people are the Elders in society, but there are people of all ages giving up their lives to sow these seeds.

The Elders are the ones who have maybe started a new life after retirement and want to experience the positive side of ageing.

With gifts of intellect, the ability to teach, nurse, even down to helping poor societies with plumbing, electricty etc.

But what about those of us who seem unable to do great things in life and are limited to staying where we are?

The Law of Compensation still comes into action.

Think about how it feels to give. Buying or creating something to give away is so much more appreciable that receiving. We have heard the saying “It is better to give than to receive”

That is because we find so much pleasure in seeing someones face and lighting up their day.

But there is so much more to the Law of Compensation than that.

How we live and operate every day is what we are sowing.

If we talk endlessly about the terror and the awful weather, we are perpetuating the “terrible” or “awful” feelings that we have, and passing them onto the people who we are having the conversation with.

I could enlarge on the bigger picture in society of the Hitlers and Sadam Husseins as examples of getting back what they sowed, but that could take up whole books.

For now let’s think about what you are sowing in your everyday life.

Are you sowing all the things that help other people?

It can be giving your time, money, talents and love. Or maybe a smile, a hug, a compliment or a word of encouragement.

Watching a mother on the bus or in the supermarket with a difficult child and criticising her is not going to help. Encouraging the Mother by a smile or just saying that she is doing a good job, can make all the difference to that mothers day.

Helping someone in any way has its compensations. That boils down to whatever we are doing. It does not have to be great, or take a lot of energy.

This law could take pages of writing, but I will just leave you with these intitial thoughts for now.

You do not have to consciously use this law, because as with all the other laws of the universe, it is already in action!

It is the Law of Compensation!

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