Dogma.

Its never too late for new beginning

I write about several subjects. When I am asked to put any given subject into a category, there is not always one to suit. Dogma is one of them.

One can be dogmatic about anything. Religion, health, nutrition, dieting, money, politics and lately I am beginning to notice some dogma creeping into Spirituality. Not good!

A loose definition of Spirituality is that; we find a truth that we know is coming from our soul and not from some outer authority.

Which in turn sets us free from fear. But there is a journey and it although it is not easy, it is exciting.

Millions of us are living in a world where we can be subjected to dogma.

One example is until recently I belonged to a club for a certain diet. Not your usual calorie counting one I may add. It worked for me, but only after experimenting to find what suits me, using the suggestions as a guide. However, after a while, the diet became dogma, not from the author, but from people joining and using the original book as dogma. Thou shalt not eat this and never eat that! The author of the original book often has difficulty getting across to people that she never meant for this to happen.

Vegetarians can become very dogmatic. Nutritionists, Dietary Advisors and it goes without saying that politicians certainly can.

Another example is The Law of Attraction. I am beginning to notice people saying that if something does not go your way it is because you are not following the rules. What rules?

(I write about The Law of Attraction in a series of blogs for ageing, from 2015, which you can find here.) http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com/ageing-the-law-of-action/

I am beginning to notice people saying that if something does not go your way it is because you are not following the rules. What rules?

The dogma that has affected my life is the one of Religion. And there are millions of people in this world who are the same. Many of them stay within that dogma for the whole of their lives. But there is an increasing awareness that we do not have to spend our lives obeying someone else’s rules because it suits them. The more I study and research, the more I am finding out that we need to find out for ourselves what the truth is for our individual soul.

I have just written a book about how I did it, which is a simple narrative of my life as a child in the 1940’s and 1950’s, a young Mother in the 1960’s and 1970’s and how the teachings of a Pentecostal dogma or fundamentalism had dire effects on my choices in life. The added factor was that the Pentecostals claim that they are not religious. But a loose definition of religion can be that we follow someone elses set of rules. And there were a lot of rules in my life that came from the Pentecostal teachings and in many other evangelical movements.

From the early 1980’s life began to change, in a very dramatic and traumatic way. With the loss of everything, marriage, business, possessions and the roof over my head, during the next thirty years, I found the way to my soul. Thirty years may seem a long time, but it has all been a gradual dawning and an exciting, although at times painful journey. I found the truth and that truth has made me free.

That is the title of my book “The Truth Has Made Me Free.” It is still being prepared for publishing at this point, September 2017, but keep a look out for it.

I recognise that there are many others who have suffered because of fundamental teaching about anything. Especially other religions, but I also know of a few who have suffered because of other dogma, not just religion.

I also want to start a group on Facebook for people who have been affected by fundamentalism or dogma, in any way. Either from your own experience, or someone you know, and how it has affected you in any way. And of course, if you too have managed to be free from it all.

Would you comment below if you would like to join such a group?

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What Do You Fear About Ageing?

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What is it about ageing that frightens people most do you think?

What do YOU fear most in old age?

I would love to hear from you about your fears and what you think could be done about it.

People blame the Government, their relatives, their offspring or their parents just for starters. It is their perception that;

The Government, don’t do enough to help.

Their relatives don’t care.

Their offspring is too busy.

Their parents; because of the legacy of beliefs, and the way they were brought up.

Have you ever considered that you can change all that?

Have you ever considered that actually the ball is in YOUR court and that actually if you change the way you think, it could change the outcome?

If you are already in a situation where you seem to be at the hands of all the people and situations I have mentioned, then could you make it your desire to help those who are coming behind to learn by your mistakes?

If you are coming up to retirement or consider yourself a YOUNG older person, i.e., Baby Boomer, could you still change the way that you think and make your older years vital and creative? You too could help people to realise that one doesn’t have to be a victim in your older years.

I have just been reading the book “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill again. Alongside that I have been listening to an audio of Wayne Dyers, “Wishes Fulfilled”. Both books teach you how you can change your thinking.

Although these books were written for entrepreneurs, and indeed “Think and Grow Rich” is, there is a lot in them that would help you to change your thinking and enrich your lives in all areas, not just money.

Certainly in your approach to your older years. Whether you are rich or poor, you do have choices in how you think. Thinking is energy and energy is the stuff of which the Universe is made.

Think about it!

We all make choices in life. We all think.

What can you change about the way that you think?

In the next blog, I will give you some examples of how changing the way that you think, can change your health, your outlook on life and can bring you joy, peace and happiness, right where you are now no matter what your circumstances.

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The Attitude of Gratitude with Ageing.

ConsciousAgingLogoOne of the things that is frequently said about the older or even late middle age population is that they are Grumpy.

But it doesnt have to be that way.

Practice the Attitude of Gratitude and see what happens.

This can work both ways. When someone or something is affecting your day or peace of mind, just thank God that perhaps you will learn something from the experience.

OK some of you may think that this is New ageist stuff and laugh, but it works!

With practice it can become a habit. You may still feel irritated or want to react at first, but the time between the incident and the realisation that you don’t have to re-act, gets shorter as time goes on.

The secret is in realising that there is a difference between reacting and responding.

You don’t have to be a doormat and let every one walk over you, but the old saying of counting to ten works.

You can let them know that you don’t like something if you must, but the practice of counting to ten gives you the breathing space.

Afterwards, just do what’s next, walk away, look out of the window, relax and just say to yourself that you are grateful for this experience and even the person or object concerned.

Wow! you may think this is stupid, impossible or too airy fairy, but I know it works because as time goes on I am getting better at it.

Believe me when I say that I have people and situations in my life when I have to!

Try it next time. You’ll end up with a smile on your face, instead of raised blood pressure and grumpiness on your part.

http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com

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Ageing and Healing the Past.

 

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For many people writing a life review can be challenging and may have prove to be a painful experience. Looking at the past can bring up emotions that you may have been carrying for most of your life and been unaware of.

On the other hand, many people also live their present day life believing that their past experiences are what made them the person that they are today. This is true of course, but if you don’t heal a painful past, you can let it rule your future.

You can still be the abused child, or the bullied teenager, or even the unhappy partner in a soured relationship. Without healing you can carry the past into the future and stay stuck there for the rest of your life.

This can be a very powerful and controlling factor to carry with you, often without realising that you are doing it.

The new relationship can be soured because maybe a disagreement brings up old stuff about the old relationship.

A new career may be threatened by something that happens or is said that reminds you of the old boss or something that you perceived as failure on your part.

The bullied tenager may still be with you many years later when you want to join a football team, but you can’t pluck up the courage to do it.

Many people who were bankrupt in the past, carry a sense of failure around with them for the rest of their lives where money is concerned.

I have witnessed many very old people who carry their past around with them, and become bitter and twisted and alienate everyone around them, including their carers.

Working with them as a carer taught me the importance of healing the past.

What I also witnessed was that the kindest and happiest people in those environments were the ones that attracted people to them.

You need to do this while you can, and the sooner you start the better. If you wait until you are older, you may become too incapacitated to do anything about it.

iStock_000002366515SmallDo it now and your older years can be a time of great peace and joy. Make them your golden years. Dried leaves in the autumn have a beauty of their own. 

If you are reading this then you are well on your way to doing it. Or you may be reading it because you are concerned about someone elses peace of mind in their older years, and don’t quite know how to help them. A word of caution here though, remember that you cannot do it for them.

The process of healing the past cannot happen overnight. But it can happen!

It will be a bit like peeling an onion. You will deal with one thing and then something else that has been hidden underneath may come up. But don’t let that put you off.

It will be such a wonderful tranformative experience, that your new sense of freedom and joy will be almost addictive.

For today, look again at the experiences that brought up the painful stuff that you wrote down from the previous blog, and see which one you feel is the easiest one to deal with.

An essential part of healing the past is forgiveness. Look at the people who were concerned in this relatively easy one, and ask yourself if you can or have forgiven them. Including yourself.

The next blog will be looking at forgiveness. What seems an impossible task, can be done with some work on your part, but it is not such hard work as you may believe.

It will certainly help towards your journey of Healing the Past and Ageing with Vitality, health and peace of mind. Which in turn will bring you joy, peace and love not only to you, but to others around you.

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Ageing and Expectations.(2)

 

 

happycherry_coverFor the second part of looking at expectations for your years of Eldership, there are a few more questions to ask yourself in searching for how conscious you are with ageing.

 

Notice that we have made a transition with titles. From now on I will be referring to older people using the terms Elders, Eldership or Elder.  Not Elderly.

Why? Society uses the word Elderly as a general meaning for anyone over the age of sixty. Taking away our individuality and setting us apart.  It has become a “label” which has come to have negative connotations.

Those of you who take an interest in ageing consciously, including myself, may like to be known by a name or title that gives a more positive connotation. People in the conscious ageing movements that I have come accross, like to be known as Elders, because that word is used in some societies and cultures to mean “Wise one,”  which is what we are. Especially when seeking to make our older years a positive and fulfilling experience both for themselves and those around them.

So let us continue with looking at what your expectations are for Eldership.

  • Are you looking at doing anything about preparing for being an Elder?
  • Are you planning on celebrating your Eldershp?
  • If you have not yet retired do you plan to do so? (We have parties and celebrations for christenings, weddings, 21st birthdays etc., but when are we going to start celebrating stepping into Eldership?)
  • Can you see a way that you could serve your fellow humans and share your wisdom?
  • Is there any sort of “inner work” you think that you would like to look at?

Inner work includes such things as;

  • A life review.
  • Deepening Spiritual connection644412_800778609970925_8712612913312183787_n
  • Accepting mortality
  • Creating a legacy
  • Letting go
  • Forgiveness

We will look at some of the inner work in the next few blogs.

http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com

 

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Conscious Ageing & Who we are.

 

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ConsciousAgingLogoDo you ever stop to consider who you really are?

We can have several “roles” in our life, such as Mum, Dad, Daughter, Son, Auntie, Grandpa and so on. But who are you at the core of your being?

“What is Conscious Ageing and how do I do that?”

This is the most asked question when I tell people that I teach Conscious ageing.

In the next few blogs I will take you through some initial steps to finding out.

Today we look at “Ageing and who we really are”

Writing down the answers and your responses, using pen and paper, to the following questions is the best way to do this, because you will then be able to read back through, make any adjustments and monitor exactly where you are. This will in turn help you towards becoming conscious.

If you just answer in your mind, with no notes, you will easily forget and your thoughts will just be put somewhere else and mixed in with the rest of your thoughts for the day and get lost. That is the reason why many people keep a journal. There is something in writing it down, with a pen and paper, that instils it into your sunconscious.

It is still better if you obtain a special book for your journey through consious ageing, and write a little dedication and promise to yourself. It will be a great way to monitor your progress and look back on it in years to come.

Untitled-1Please remember that this is only for your perusal and no-one elses. It is not an examination, there are no right or wrong answers. Only you will see this.

So here is a list of questions and thoughts. This is where you are today.

  • Which decade of life are you in?
  • Which age do you actually feel?
  • Are you a carer (for someone who is ill, or for children?)
  • Are you nearing retirement?
  • What is your current state of health?
  • Generally speaking do you feel; happy, sad, fearful, worried, depressed or can you think of any other emotion that takes precedence over the others in your everyday life?
  • Do you live alone?
  • Do you live with a partner?
  • Do you live with a relative other than your partner?
  • What is your gender?
  • Do you have any living parents?
  • Do you have children?
  • Are they living with you or apart from you?
  • What are their ages?
  • Do you have friends, close friends, or just aquaintances?
  • What is the state of your finances?
  • Are you dependent on other people in any way?
  • Do you have any hobbies or interests outside of your everyday life?
  • What are your particular interests?

By answering these questions and pondering over them, you will begin to have more of a picture of how conscious you are. Are you living a life that is just being what other people see you as? (See my blog, “Whose life are you living?)

Two more questions.

  • What do I expect people at my 90th birthday party to say about me?
  • What would I like them to say?

The next part of this mini series will cover your expectations.

Enjoy your day, and set aside an hour to enjoy this exercise in finding out who you are?DSC_0079

From little acorns mighty oaks do grow! 

http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com

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Ageing & The Law of Action

 

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Another of the Laws of the Universe, is The Law of Action.

Notice that action is part of the word Attraction, and so it is in life.

We cannot attract anything into our life without action.The Law of Attraction is not a magic spell, but it comes together with ACTION.

The thing is though, that you also cannot have just action. Being nothing but a human “doing” will not bring results on its own. We also need to be a human “being”.

Bob Proctor, a teacher in Law of Attraction, puts it like this. Think of a pregnant woman. As soon as she knows she is pregnant, something happens within her to nourish and preserve the fetus. These days women love to learn about the pregancy, the birth, how to look after her baby and perhaps her and her baby’s diet. The house is full of books and magazines and she is more than likely on a social media site with a group. 025

When the time comes to give birth, she is well prepared and all she wants to concentrate on is the hard pain of labour. She retires to a private place and all she wants is people around her that can help. These people in turn will make sure that she is protected and given the respect and help that she needs.

So it is with goals in life. Weight loss, an idea for a business or a book, a new relationship, a new career or even retiring as we age.

It goes something like this;

  • We have an idea.
  • We look at the possibilites.
  • We nourish the idea with reading, study and research.Untitled-1
  • We prepare our minds and spirits.
  • We prepare and collect together the physical tools.
  • We give birth to the idea.

Can you see the alignment?

So what about the Ageing process?

The idea. “I want to age with wisdom, health and vitality. I want to enjoy my older years, and not dread them. I want to be a wise Elder, not just an old person.”

The possibilities. Is it a realistic idea? Is it possible to defy the beliefs of society and age in a positive, happy and joyful way?

Nourishing the idea. I can read and research to find out the best way to age in a healthy way. I do not have to accept the conventional ideas of thinking that if I feel unwell “It’s because of my age!”ConsciousAgingLogo

Preparing my mind and spirit.  I can study the brain, and find out about the myths that abound about the ageing brain. I do not have to be religious to be spiritual, I can find out what beliefs are in alignment with who I am and what my inner voice is telling me. I can learn how to love. I can learn how to forgive.

Gathering the physical tools. I can look into what tools I can use to enhance the experience of ageing. A proper healthy diet, what exercise to do, how I can find out my creative abilities and how I can use them. Prepare a legacy for the people who I am leaving behind when I die. Join social media groups online. Find friends who are in alignment with what I want. Perhaps find a friend, life coach or mentor to help me.

We give birth to the idea. We are ageing with vitality. We surround ourselves with people and friends who encourage us and help us. We feel confident and safe enough to do it. People are saying “Wow, you look great and are so vibrant, you actually have a glow about you that belies your physical age. Even with less physical energy, you actually use the energy you do have in such a way, that you enhance the idea of ageing instead of being dull and uninteresting.”

Or “You look great!”

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Many people, no matter what the idea, abhort it at the first thing that goes wrong. With weight loss, it is often that they are not losing it fast enough, or it’s too much like hard work. If writing a book, after the first attempt they give it up because they are not finding the grammar or use of words easy. Starting a business, they are not making enough money.

With ageing, you might start to experience pain in your knees. “Huh, Patricia says that I will be vibrant, how can I be vibrant with pain like this?  Abhort trying, just go back to my old way of thinking, this is a waste of time and energy. I will never do it!”

To be vibrant, we need to look at the inner work. It is certainly my own experience. It is about charging your batteries or buying new ones. Your body will not operate if there is no charge.

If you are charged from within, you can still operate from the place where you are. There is always something that you can be, create and do. (notice the order that I wrote that!)

And for the benefit of younger readers, the sooner you start, the better. Think of it as a “Retirement Pension!” 

The Law of Action is the last law that I will be writing about for the time being, but you can find out about the many Universal laws in various books, and reading.

What I will be writing about in the next few blogs are steps to take to become a Conscious Elder.

 

 

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Ageing & The Law of Relativity.

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This is the Law of Relativity

(Not to be confused with Einstiens Theory!)

 

This law is a great one to bear in mind when we think about ageing.

It is the Law of Relativity. It is a law that says that everything just is.

We forget that everything just is, and what we actually do in our everyday lives is judge everything in relative to another.

Just as with the Law of Polarity, nothing is good without bad, high without low, big without small.

So we tend to say something like “The weather is awful today”. Awful compared to what?

A person living in a desert, would think of a windy and rainy day in the UK as good.

Egypt 043I can remember being in Egypt on holiday several years ago, and this was a holiday that had been given to us by our  son. As we were boarding the liner that was taking us down the Nile, I noticed that there were beggars asking us for money. In the UK we were living on benefits, but to these beggars we were rich! And indeed we certainly felt rich.

Have you ever been in pain from an awful headache? You cannot get comfortable and you are feeling sorry for yourself. What if the telephone rang and you heard that a loved one has just been admitted to hospital having been involved in a traffic accident? Headache may still be there, but suddenly you are not a victim anymore. Before you know it the headache is gone.

I visit an elderly lady frequently who moans constantly. I try to get her to see that in comparison to a lot of other people her age, she is actually well, with a comfortable home to live in and son and daughter who make sure that they see her at least four times a week. She is very independent and yes of course she gets lonely, but relatively speaking she is very well off.

But we all tend to compare ourselves to what we don’t have.  We never seem to have enough money.  The weather may have been good all summer but one or two days of rain, in our minds turns a good summer into a lousy one.

As we age, we moan about gravity taking over, or our backs and knees are playing up. We wonder what happened to our energy.

I don’t know about you, but often when I look at photos of myself younger, I think that I looked really good. But when I look back to that time in my life, I remember worrying that I was too fat, or ugly, or looking at my double chin! I did not appreciate the fact that I looked good, until it was too late, many years later.

The moral of the story is; Start appreciating what you have, NOW!

When you can get into the habit of being grateful for what you have now, instead of what you don’t have, then you will in turn feel blessed.

And when you live your life feeling blessed, you are blessed.

You become a person who attracts others to you because you smile when you remember how blessed you are.

And if you get to be called a Pollyana, so what?

Live your life looking for the good in everyone and everything.

Let the Law of Relativity be used for the good. 

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Ageing & The Law of Polarity.

happycherry_coverWhat is the Law of Polarity? 

‘Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

Alfred Lord Tennyson.

…………………………………………

In the absence of that which we are not, that which we are, is not.

Neale Donald Walsh.

………………………………………….

I love this law and remember it often in my everyday living.

It reminds me of needing to be grateful. Focusing on what I do have and not on what I don’t have.

There is polarity all around us. Hot and cold, soft and hard, happy and unhappy, love and hate, smooth and rough, big and small and so on.

It is indeed better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

A good example of this is with those of us who have pets. Because they have relatively short lives, we experience their loss over and over again. I would not even attempt to count the number of times that I have heard people say “I’m not going to have any more dogs, I’m never going to go through that again!” Yet in weeks or months and sometimes even days, there is the gorgeous new pup. It is not that we forget the previous pet, because every one of them has given us the experience of love, whether given or received and we know that pets give unconditional love. We love to have them around and we live with Tennyson’s mantra don’t we?

When we are going through tough times, it helps to remember the Law of Polarity, there is never an up without a down. If life was happy all the time, we would not appreciate it. The down times remind us that the up times are worth reaching for.

In the absence of that which we are not, that which we are, is not.

A simpler way of putting this is that when you are experiencing tough times, you can use them to learn about what you are made of.

  • You are worthy.
  • You are awesome.
  • You are worth it.
  • You are loved.
  • You have untapped talents.
  • You have knowledge.

Many people are just settling for what they see as their “lot” in life. They are unaware of their own powers and abilities.

There are a growing number of people who are becoming aware of the fact that they need not settle for what they have. They become aware of the absence of what they are not – but also become aware that they could do better- because of the fact that they have experienced what it was like (the absence) to be not. In other words if you are not aware of your ability to change things, then you may settle for what you are in the present moment. Never knowing about the person you could be.

This is the Law of Polarity working in a different way, because you need to become aware that there is a choice. But it is generally when you are having a tough time that you become aware that there are good times. This makes the good times even better than they were before the tough times!

This is one reason why life coaching and personal development is growing at such a rapid pace worldwide now.

People are realising that they do not have to settle for their “lot” in life. This works on two levels.

  • The practice of Gratitude, which is another way of counting your blessings.
  • The becoming aware of your own value and becoming happier.

This in turn becomes the way that people find their creativity and tap into the resources within them that they were never aware of.

So you see, next time you are having a tough time, take comfort in what you may learn about yourself while having that experience. You will be surprised at how this quickens up your recovery.

This applies to illness, bereavement, depression, losing your job, retirement, ageing, having young difficult children, caring for an ageing parent and so on.

I am talking from a place of experience of course, earlier this year I had a time of depression and burn out. But because I had already been made aware of this law I was able to use the time to listen, learn and relax. SDC13676Long walks in the woods and reflecting and what I was learning from this time, got me back on my feet and I am now “glowing” with vitality and yearning to go, go, go. Bear in mind that I am not exactly a sping chicken!

You too could experience this ageing with vitality.

Remember that this is the Law of Polarity and it is in action whether you believe in it or not.

It is part of the Universal laws which keep the universe in motion.banner-790x90

 

 

 

 

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Ageing & the Law of Compensation

autumn2011 031IMG_0137What you sow, so shall you reap.

This is a well known saying, and is an ancient teaching.

Are you sowing beautiful seeds or weeds?

This is the Law of Compensation.

Many people go through life sowing seeds of hate, sorrow, lack, terror, war, crime and misery.

According to the media and news on television, that is what the world is made of.

But we seldom get to hear of all the good seeds that are being sown.

There are millions of people all over the world that are sowing seeds of love, hope, peace, charity, kindness, happiness, gentleness and generosity.

Many of these people are the Elders in society, but there are people of all ages giving up their lives to sow these seeds.

The Elders are the ones who have maybe started a new life after retirement and want to experience the positive side of ageing.

With gifts of intellect, the ability to teach, nurse, even down to helping poor societies with plumbing, electricty etc.

But what about those of us who seem unable to do great things in life and are limited to staying where we are?

The Law of Compensation still comes into action.

Think about how it feels to give. Buying or creating something to give away is so much more appreciable that receiving. We have heard the saying “It is better to give than to receive”

That is because we find so much pleasure in seeing someones face and lighting up their day.

But there is so much more to the Law of Compensation than that.

How we live and operate every day is what we are sowing.

If we talk endlessly about the terror and the awful weather, we are perpetuating the “terrible” or “awful” feelings that we have, and passing them onto the people who we are having the conversation with.

I could enlarge on the bigger picture in society of the Hitlers and Sadam Husseins as examples of getting back what they sowed, but that could take up whole books.

For now let’s think about what you are sowing in your everyday life.

Are you sowing all the things that help other people?

It can be giving your time, money, talents and love. Or maybe a smile, a hug, a compliment or a word of encouragement.

Watching a mother on the bus or in the supermarket with a difficult child and criticising her is not going to help. Encouraging the Mother by a smile or just saying that she is doing a good job, can make all the difference to that mothers day.

Helping someone in any way has its compensations. That boils down to whatever we are doing. It does not have to be great, or take a lot of energy.

This law could take pages of writing, but I will just leave you with these intitial thoughts for now.

You do not have to consciously use this law, because as with all the other laws of the universe, it is already in action!

It is the Law of Compensation!

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