Hummingbird Funeral Ceremonies.

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The Hummingbird is an extremely versatile bird. There are many varieties, and they symbolise Lightness of being, Being more present, Independence, bringing playfulness and joy to life, Lifting up negativity, Ability to respond quickly and resiliency.

At a time of bereavement and experiencing death, someone who can use these abilities to bring comfort and compassion is vital if we are to remember our loved one’s funeral and the time just before and just after the ceremony, with a meaningful experience, rather than despair and hopelessness.

A funeral celebrant will endeavour to bring you an experience that will, just like the hummingbird, lift up negativity by making the funeral a ceremony that celebrates and remembers the deceased’s life. This will be carried out by reflecting on their values and beliefs and what they would like to leave behind for those who have lost them.

An independent Funeral Celebrant is independent of all religions, races or what is expected at funerals in general. The ceremony is designed to remind people of memories that may make them laugh, cry and reflect on who the person was.

By being present or there beside you, they will bring a sense of compassion and comfort that will carry you through a difficult time.

I have decided to use the Hummingbird for my brand and logo, because this bird has a spiritual connection to changing direction quickly and smoothly, invites you to flex your path to accommodate life’s circumstances.

As a Funeral Celebrant, I have been trained to support you in the adaptation of your new life circumstances by offering a funeral ceremony that will lighten the burden of loss a little and help you to move on to your new life without the person who has died.

The Hummingbird totem wisdom challenges us to stand strong while being able to fly high. When facing challenges that are plagued with negativity, you can call on the spirit of the Hummingbird to help you bring a positive outlook on the situation and find your way with optimism.

I can do this with the use of music, poetry and even dance to suit your wishes and beliefs, whatever they may be. Religious, secular or a mixture of both.

Eternity, continuity and infinity are the words, which for me bring home the message of the hummingbird.

We do not know what eternity is, but we may or may not choose to believe that our soul or essence will live on in eternity.

Continuity denotes the continuity of life that we leave behind on the earth. No matter what our beliefs, we do leave a stamp behind on this planet in some way, shape or form.

Infinity is the state of being infinite, and acknowledging that although death is finite, our infinity says that we cannot comprehend the endlessness, boundlessness or limitlessness of the Universe. It is only our perception that puts the limits on our comprehension on what happens after death. Because we are human, living in a vast Universe.

Not only can I help with the funeral of your loved one at the time of bereavement, but I can also support you in making your wishes known for your own funeral before you die. None of us knows when that may be, but it is good to be prepared.

By creating a Funeral Ceremony Will, you can leave behind your wishes for the way that your funeral is to be carried out. That way, your family will know your favourite music, poetry, beliefs and facts about you for your Eulogy.

This will save them, even more pain when they are in a state of shock after losing you because making choices at that time can be bewildering and cause disagreements among family.

I will design and write a script and your wishes, right down to the choice of coffin, transport and whether you want to be cremated or buried. Followed by a written eulogy that can be flexible, but will contain facts about you that family or friends may not know.

I will interview you either in person or online, to find out and suggest ideas, and send you a draft for corrections, then finish with a copy that you can print out and put into your files, or print it for you.

I would love to support you in whatever capacity you would like.

Please get in touch with me for a chat if you have any questions.

trishcherry734@gmail.com

There is a FREE report available, please request it by email above. You will not be added to a mailing list.

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The Culture of Death.

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The culture of death differs all over the world. Many of the rituals and rules surrounding death are for practical reasons, such as the climate, temperature, etc. Religious rules developed from these practical needs.Daisies

Human’s have been on this planet for a long time. But according to findings from archaeologists, rituals around burial, and disposal of the body has been around for all that time too.

I haven’t space or time to go into a history today; that will take another article. But I will say that in the 20th Century, death in England became taboo.

So that you can get the picture, I am going to describe four funerals.

The first one is an experience recently of a friend of mine. Grace was born in Northern Ireland. Very recently she went there to attend the funeral of a close friend’s husband.

The culture in Northern Ireland is to respect death and honour the deceased. Part of this respect in Grace’s eyes was getting up in the very early hours of the morning at 3 am, to travel to Bristol to catch a 7 am flight to Belfast.

When she arrived in Belfast, her taxi driver was very kind and reduced the fare. Not only that, but he took her back to the airport the next day. Again he saw this as respect because Grace was attending a funeral.

Since Billy had died, which was in hospital, a week before, he had been lying in an open casket in the front room of his own house, and people held what is known as a vigil. The old belief is that the soul takes three days to leave the body. But even if they no longer believe that the vigil is an essential part of the culture, and it also means that the closest family are not left alone, and there is always someone in the house, to talk, have a cup of tea with and draw comfort from.

The Mass was being held at 10 am. Before that, at the house, Grace found the coffin still open in the front room, with hundreds of cards beneath. After she had paid her respects, it was time for a final goodbye by Billy’s wife, to her husband. The wife sang a little song to Billy, then kissed him goodbye, just before the Funeral Director arrived to seal the coffin.

There was a parade of people following the hearse to the church, on foot. After a personal address, mass and service led by the priest, everyone went to the crematorium, where they enjoyed listening to Billy’s favourite Pop songs, including the Everly Brothers, before he was cremated. At the end of which everyone attended the Wake.

Funeral number 2, was an English Funeral. The same friend heard that a neighbour had died. When she asked her husband who out of the two of them would attend the funeral, he was surprised to think that Grace would even consider it. Grace, in turn, was shocked to realise that this attitude was normal for England.

She attended the funeral and found that no-one else in the street went.  There were only a handful of people there, even though this elderly couple had lived in the same street for over fifty years.

The coffin was brought to the church and paraded down the aisle to the words from the C of E funeral book. After a couple of prayers, and mournful hymns, led by a vicar who obviously did not know the chap who had died, the close family went to the Crematorium and everyone went home.

I attended a similar family funeral a couple of months ago, and the picture was the same. No sense of community, because there were only about twenty people scattered all over the church which was big enough to hold three hundred. I wanted to gather them all together and ask them to sit closer to the front. The body had been in the funeral Directors offices, taken out for a viewing at an appointed time, with an hour time slot. Then put back in the fridge until the funeral.

The vicar did not know anyone, spoke over the top of everyone’s head and was quite impersonal.

The few members of the family present went with the coffin to the Crematorium and the people in the church, just went home. Even though there would be a cup of tea at the house, the family had requested that only close family go to the crematorium. So that there was no sense of community or even a chance for anyone to pay their respects to the husband.

At the fourth funeral, everyone gathered outside the Crematorium, and the procession was led in by a Funeral Celebrant. She had been in touch with the family ever since the death.

After bowing to the coffin and placing a lovely photograph of the dead person on top, she took her place at the lectern and asked everyone to sit down.

She read some beautiful opening words acknowledging the family by name and saying a few words about death, and how everyone sees it differently.

The eulogy was read by the son of the person who had died, but it had been a joint effort with the Funeral Celebrant during an hours interview and meeting the family. The eulogy had everyone laughing and crying and reminded us of the character and life of the man who had died.

After the eulogy, everyone sang “Abide with Me,” not necessarily for religious reasons, but because Albert had been a big football fan.

This was followed by five minutes of reflection, listening to Leona Lewis singing “Footprints in the Sand”  while we all looked at a show of pictures on the screen above, of Alberts journey through life, his children and grandchildren.

The children who were present then went up to the catafalque and placed a flower on top of the coffin. Followed by those who wanted to, just to touch the coffin and say goodbye.

After a short committal prayer, the curtains were closed, and the Funeral Celebrant then closed the procedure with appropriate words including a poem about taking up the reins of life without the dead person.

We left the church to the sound of Acker Bilk!

There was then a Wake in the local football club premises.

I will leave it to you to assess what you think would give the most satisfactory way of saying goodbye and support loved ones left behind. It may be one particular funeral described here, or it may be a combination.

The moral of the story is that it is possible to do things differently with death.

The lady who founded the group that I trained with, Jane Morrell, had a vision of “Changing the face of funerals in England.”

The culture in England is one of secrecy. The body is quickly removed from the place of death, often even while it is still warm, whisked away to have “mysterious things” done to it.

We may have a chance to see it; all made up to look good, for a while at the appointed time in the funeral directors office.

On the day, the hearse turns up either at the Crematorium or the church, and there may be a good ceremony or not.

(Have you noticed the disrespect from other drivers when they see a funeral procession lately?)

This culture makes bad things even worse, and the funeral is something to dread even more, than just the saying goodbye.

Jane was inspired when she had that vision. We do need to change the face of funerals. We need a better culture of death.

If you want to read more about death, please visit my website

http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com

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Live well until you die!!!

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A Fresh Look at Funerals.

And ageing and healthy eating!

There is something about that title that is backwards eh?

All will be revealed. Read on.

I am sorry if I seemed to disappear off the horizon for a while, this is for several reasons.

I am not making excuses here because I do not feel the need to do that. In fact, I have been very busy working on several things, as well as the challenge of keeping an eye on my Mother, who is now nearly 95 years old.

Also I have been completing my Diploma for being a Funeral Celebrant.

The Ageing with Vitality is still very much there. Especially with my own experience of how to do that, even with some health challenges such as failing Eyesight, skin and kidney problems.happycherry_cover

Being Vital in older age does not guarantee being free from disease, but it does help you to remain positive and loving, instead of bitter and twisted.

There are some exciting new horizons coming up with my interests in Ageing, Death and all that those life events encompass.

Firstly, I have been tweaking my Website with different pages. They are now clearer, and you can find information on Ageing, healthy eating and funerals.

Hopefully, the healthy eating will delay the ageing process and make the funeral a bit later in life.

The aim is to live well until you die!!

Then when you die, to have a good send off in the form of a celebration instead of a mournful and bleak funeral.

Secondly, I have withdrawn the FREE 4k word report and am selling it in the form of a booklet, once I get it printed, or a PDF online. The price is £5 at the moment, but will increase shortly. This would be deducted from the price of a Ceremony Will.

Thirdly. I have now decided to call my Funeral Celebrancy business, the new Free Report and the Ceremony Wills, “A Fresh Look at Funerals.”

The new FREE report is simply a way for people to discover that there is another way for funerals in general. And give you the oppurtunity to find out what a Ceremony Will is, or a way for you to organise a funeral for a loved one.

You can obtain the FREE report by sending me your email address, and I will download the PDF to you.  It explains how funerals can be a positive experience.

Or you can purchase the longer report for £5, remember that this price is only temporary, which will be counted towards the Ceremony Will if you wish to proceed.

Contact me by email which is trishcherry734@gmail.com

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How to Save Money on Funerals

 

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Are you being sold down the river with TV adverts saying that the average cost of a funeral is £7500?SDC13832

It would be nearer the mark to say that it is more like £3500. But you can do it for even less than that.

  • Is the subject of death taboo to your family?
  • Do those around you know what you want to happen?
  • Do they know your tastes in music or poetry?
  • Do they know your personal beliefs?

They may know what you don’t want, but do they know what you do want?

Have you had the Big Conversation with loved ones about death?

Whether you have or not, I am offering a chance for you to find out all that there is to know and how you can save your family more grief, money, and searching when the time comes. You can find it all in a FREE report by sending me an email with no ties to newsletters.

trishcherry734@gmail.com

Also, the chances are, that even at this present time, you are wondering about funeral arrangements in the near future for a loved one.

You don’t know where to start. You simply have not done this before.

And it is worth remembering that death can apply to anyone at any age. 

Many people say that because they have no beliefs, they do not want a funeral. But you can still have a funeral with no beliefs, and just celebrate the life.

Death and all that it entails is not a subject that is discussed openly and honestly these days. People shy away for various reasons.

The family is expected to find the money for a funeral, and there is no way that they could afford the prices that are bandied about.

The FREE report will help you to find out the easy way because I have done the research for you, studied the subject and am also a professionally trained Funeral Celebrant.

I am offering a unique opportunity for you to create a Funeral Ceremony Will and also find ways to save money on the funeral.

Starting at just £25 I will create a Ceremony Will in which you can state what you want to happen in the event of your death. The details are in the report. But receiving the report does not obligate you in any way.

Many families get involved in further grief trying to arrange a funeral for someone. Arguments ensue, there can be a feeling that something was missing, or a feeling of dissatisfaction and wondering whether the deceased person would have wanted that. There may somehow be a lack of closure.

Someone in the family cannot accept the deceased person’s beliefs or non-beliefs. But if there is a Ceremony Will in with other legal documents such as the funeral plan or legal will, saying what they wanted to happen, there can be no dispute.

The report tells you everything you may want to know about funerals. It describes what happens first after death, and what happens next. If you do have any questions, please ask me.

It describes what choices there are, covers burial, cremation, and other choices, and gives some surprising information about where you can hold a funeral. Did you know for instance that you can hold a funeral in your back garden?

All you have to do is to let me have your email address with no subscribing to newsletters. I will send the report back as a PDF attachment.

trishcherry734@gmail.com

Very soon there will be an opportunity to sign up for newsletters. Meanwhile, if you do not want to be added to a mailing list, please state that in your initial email, but until then, this is the way to go..

I do hope that I can be a support you in this difficult subject. But there is a thought that once you have sorted out the matter of what death means to you, it enriches your life. My personal experience is that it is true. 

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What is an Independent Funeral Celebrant?

 

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Hi there.

Have you been wondering about how to have a funeral for someone who is not affiliated to any church or perhaps does not have any particular set of beliefs? 

And yet, you would like to have a funeral that would give the family a chance to say a meaningful goodbye.

When you come to arrange a funeral, very often the choice seems limited to either a religious one, or a secular.

In a church, or in the Crematorium.

But it does not have to be one or the other, you can have an amalgamation of both.

You may also, like a friend of mine recently, like to arrange your own funeral service, because you feel strongly about it. We got together and wrote a script for a funeral that is meaningful to her, and will save her family a lot of worry when she dies.

So here is what is happening in the world of funerals.

An Independent Funeral Celebrant is someone who will assist you in organising and leading a funeral ceremony. In the 21st Century, many people are unafilliated to churches or other religious or even non religious groups. Often when someone dies, the family do not realise that they have a choice. An alternative to a priest of other officiant, is the INDEPENDENT FUNERAL CELEBRANT.

They will visit you in your home and get to know you and the deceased persons beliefs, background and wishes. From this they will help you to construct a funeral that is meaningful and become an important ritual to enable closure and the last chance to focus on the loved one who has died. The Celebrant will then lead the ceremony for you or organise it so that family and friends can take part. 

I can now do this for you. This is what my leaflet says about me. 

Patricia is deeply compassionate and has been offering care, support and friendship all of her life.

She will gently guide you and your loved ones through a Funeral Ceremony which will be part of the healing process of losing a loved one.

We all need loving support at these times, and she will help to create a funeral which will be remembered as a positive experience to enable you to move on.

I am in the final stages of my training at this moment, (April 2016) But can now take funerals with the supervision of Green Fuse, with whom I am training.

If you want to know more, then you can contact me on my email and make arrangements for a short informal chat.

I am also available to give talks at groups, or organisations. 

trishcherry734@gmail.com

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