Who are They?

025The Elderly are not they.

Children are not they.

People with different colored skin are not they.

People from other countries are not they.

The rich are not they.

The poor are not they.

Disabled people are not they.

Beautiful people are not they.

Ugly people are not they.

I could go on with many categories that seem to seperate us all. But the point to remember is that they are us!

We are part of the whole. Part of the Universe.

Each of us has been placed in our corner of the world. Some may move around, others may stay in one place.

Some may be in the limelight. Others may go about their lives in a quiet way and only known and recognised by a few.

When we talk about people, or refer to them as “they,” remember that we are all one body. All one piece of a massive energy.Galaxy

We were all once babies. If we survive illnesses or remain healthy we will be old one day. We could become disabled.

Our perception is the only difference in how we notice the colour of our skin or whether we are beautiful or not. We may consider ourself rich or we may consider ourself poor.

 Everything is relative, everything is part of a whole.

We were all born and we are all going to die.

None of us knows what tomorrow, or even today will bring. Anyone of us could suddenly become “they” and things can change in an instant.

Or if we don’t become they, we could grow close to someone and be a huge part their lives and no longer feel seperate.

Therefore we need to love one another as we love ourselves. Not judge others, but put yourself in their place and try and understand what it would be like to be in their shoes.

You may be in them tomorrow!

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Staying Vital as You Age?

Pair of red wet cherry fruit on stem with green leaf isolated on whitecherry blossom

The blossoms are the essential part of the progession to the fruit; and the fruit is just as vital.

Have you noticed when you are filling in a form, they put the age brackets into such an order that when you reach 65, it just becomes 65+?

Society spends a lot of time, worrying, fretting and resisting the very idea of ageing.

But as we evolve as humans in the 21st Century, isn’t it time for us to embrace the idea? Especially as many of us are living for another thirty to forty years after retirement.

We still matter! Because as long as we have breath, we are still vital.

Illness and disease can occur at any age, so why do we think that old age has the monopoly on it?

Yes; our bodies do wear out and become weaker and frailer, and the chances of succumbing to degenerative disorders are stronger.

But being Vital in our older years is still as much a part of life as when we are younger. There are many younger people who don’t realise how vital they are to society, so why do we insist on giving old age the honour?

The word vitality is being used too loosely these days. It is used to promote products, and ironically anti-ageing foods and creams. Consequently, we think of vitality as something that is easily lost and associates that loss with ageing.

Some of the synonyms for the word vitality are; Liveliness, energy, animation, spirit, passion, sparkle and vibrancy; the power giving continuance of life, present in all living things; Vital force or energy.

If you study those words and bear in mind that we are all made up of Mind, body and spirit, you may realise that you can retain them.

Liveliness can remain in the mind and spirit, along with vibrancy and passion.

Every one of us, from birth to death, have something to contribute to the world. No matter where you are, where you live, the state of your mind or health, the state of your finances, whatever your intellect or culture you have a VITAL role to play. At any age.

You may not ever become rich, a writer, an artist, a teacher, a celebrity or earn lots of money. You may even be thinking at this moment that you are not successful because you haven’t reached a goal that you had in mind. You may have just been diagnosed with an illness or condition that you perceive as a road to failure.

You may even be thinking that you are already a failure, let alone when you get older.

You may have just retired or are coming up to retirement, and you see the future as bleak and that you will no longer be a vital part of society.

On the other hand, you may be looking forward to a bit of peace.

Do you have the thought at the back of your mind that it is downhill all the way after the age of 65? Do you think that you must do the things on your bucket list before it’s too late?

Too late for what? Perhaps too late to be able to travel freely, too late for certain activities, yes. But have you thought about what else it may be too late for? Are you seeing the time to come, the “too late” as a time when you are sitting like the proverbial cabbage?

The truth is that; As long as you have breath, you are still vital!

But how can I remain vital when I am too weak or helpless to do anything?

All of us have energy running through us as long as we are alive.

Most of the time we are unaware of it and only when we are active in some way, we become aware. But it is there; how else would your heart keep beating, your eyes seeing and all the other organs in your body stay working?

Collective energy is what you feel in a crowd at a football stadium or when the whole world stood still when we were witnessing 9/11.

We are part of the Universal energy, and what is more, it is Vital to every one of us, it is what keeps us alive. You are part of that collective energy.

Even people in a coma, or under anaesthetic have an energy running throughout their body. And they are still vital to the planet and in turn to society.

And even the person in a state of weakness, infirmity and very old age, have that energy and vitality.

People become “old” at any age. The physical process starts at age 27. But in many peoples minds, they begin to feel old as soon as they see the first grey hair.

We put people into categories or brackets. We have expectations of what we can do at any given age. We use the expression “I’m too old for that.”

The perception is different in all of us. Some may still be playing football or running at age ninety; others may need to stop being physically active at a much earlier age due to injury.

When we run upstairs and forget what we came up there for, we fear that it’s the ageing process setting in. Forgetting that most of us at any age do that. What about the schoolchild forgetting his sports kit, or losing his jacket? Do we ask if he or she is getting old?

We think of the darkest fear that we have with the process of old age as a line of events.

  • We retire; we travel or join things; take up mew hobbies.
  • Next; we expect we will start to suffer from disease which disables us from doing all the things that we like to do.
  • We then expect that it’s downhill all the way to becoming useless, a burden on society, and want just to die.

But guess what? That vital energy is still there.

Remember that the Universe does not centre around you, but that You are simply a vital part of it.

So as you become weaker and frailer, you can have either a positive effect on others or a negative.

Prepare for your older years with the thought in mind that you are vital to those around you at this time, and you are on the road to FEELING vital until the day you die.

Another synonym for vitality is spark or sparkle. Are you going to be the spark that lights people’s fire, even when you simply smile at people around you?

Don’t tell me that you can’t do that when you are old and frail. I know many who do. 

Having the spark that lights people’s fire starts at any age. Think of the effect that even the youngest baby has when they smile for the first time.

Are your family and friends going to be drawn to see you? You can do this by staying energised while you can by listening, learning, reading, writing and creating new things.

If your niche is gardening or craft do it, while you can.

Stay informed, be active, eat well.

Research drugs before you take them. You do not have to just go along with what the doctor says and jump on the roundabout of taking one drug after another that dulls your brain and mind.

Make younger friends, don’t just join the local senior citizens club and talk about the weather or your latest illness.

You have a lot to offer younger people coming along. Only three days ago, I was lunching in the centre of London with a young student from Singapore. How did I get there? I was at a Seminar on making choices with people of all ages.

The turning point for me was when at the age of sixty, a friend of the same age commented that she hated this business of getting old.

I thought “I’m outta here!” No way was I going to join that bandwagon.

Yes, I am ageing, yes time is running away with me, but I changed my thinking to one of “My older years are going to be a time of learning, wisdom and supporting others to do the same.”

I for one will remain vital until the day I die.

How about you?

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Hummingbird Funeral Ceremonies.

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The Hummingbird is an extremely versatile bird. There are many varieties, and they symbolise Lightness of being, Being more present, Independence, bringing playfulness and joy to life, Lifting up negativity, Ability to respond quickly and resiliency.

At a time of bereavement and experiencing death, someone who can use these abilities to bring comfort and compassion is vital if we are to remember our loved one’s funeral and the time just before and just after the ceremony, with a meaningful experience, rather than despair and hopelessness.

A funeral celebrant will endeavour to bring you an experience that will, just like the hummingbird, lift up negativity by making the funeral a ceremony that celebrates and remembers the deceased’s life. This will be carried out by reflecting on their values and beliefs and what they would like to leave behind for those who have lost them.

An independent Funeral Celebrant is independent of all religions, races or what is expected at funerals in general. The ceremony is designed to remind people of memories that may make them laugh, cry and reflect on who the person was.

By being present or there beside you, they will bring a sense of compassion and comfort that will carry you through a difficult time.

I have decided to use the Hummingbird for my brand and logo, because this bird has a spiritual connection to changing direction quickly and smoothly, invites you to flex your path to accommodate life’s circumstances.

As a Funeral Celebrant, I have been trained to support you in the adaptation of your new life circumstances by offering a funeral ceremony that will lighten the burden of loss a little and help you to move on to your new life without the person who has died.

The Hummingbird totem wisdom challenges us to stand strong while being able to fly high. When facing challenges that are plagued with negativity, you can call on the spirit of the Hummingbird to help you bring a positive outlook on the situation and find your way with optimism.

I can do this with the use of music, poetry and even dance to suit your wishes and beliefs, whatever they may be. Religious, secular or a mixture of both.

Eternity, continuity and infinity are the words, which for me bring home the message of the hummingbird.

We do not know what eternity is, but we may or may not choose to believe that our soul or essence will live on in eternity.

Continuity denotes the continuity of life that we leave behind on the earth. No matter what our beliefs, we do leave a stamp behind on this planet in some way, shape or form.

Infinity is the state of being infinite, and acknowledging that although death is finite, our infinity says that we cannot comprehend the endlessness, boundlessness or limitlessness of the Universe. It is only our perception that puts the limits on our comprehension on what happens after death. Because we are human, living in a vast Universe.

Not only can I help with the funeral of your loved one at the time of bereavement, but I can also support you in making your wishes known for your own funeral before you die. None of us knows when that may be, but it is good to be prepared.

By creating a Funeral Ceremony Will, you can leave behind your wishes for the way that your funeral is to be carried out. That way, your family will know your favourite music, poetry, beliefs and facts about you for your Eulogy.

This will save them, even more pain when they are in a state of shock after losing you because making choices at that time can be bewildering and cause disagreements among family.

I will design and write a script and your wishes, right down to the choice of coffin, transport and whether you want to be cremated or buried. Followed by a written eulogy that can be flexible, but will contain facts about you that family or friends may not know.

I will interview you either in person or online, to find out and suggest ideas, and send you a draft for corrections, then finish with a copy that you can print out and put into your files, or print it for you.

I would love to support you in whatever capacity you would like.

Please get in touch with me for a chat if you have any questions.

trishcherry734@gmail.com

There is a FREE report available, please request it by email above. You will not be added to a mailing list.

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Vital or Redundant in Ageing?

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The Cambridge definition of the word “Vital” is;

Necessary for the success or continued existence of something; extremely important.

The Cambridge definition of the word “redundant” is;

Unnecessary because it is more than is needed.

Which category do you think you fit into?

 

I am determined that I fit into the vital one. I have decided that right up until the day when I die, I will not become redundant.

Because I know that what you think is what you get, I know that this will happen. I want to be vital to my family, friends and all those that I come into contact with.

You may be thinking that this is a huge claim to make. None of us knows what is going to happen to us from day to day. We may think we have a fair idea, and we make plans, but often those plans don’t come to fruition.

But being vital is all about what we make of those times when things go wrong. It is what we see in them and what we make of them.

Yesterday we took my 94-year-old Mother to an outpatient’s appointment at the hospital. She is very frail, so we needed to hire the use of a special taxi to take her in a wheelchair. When we were coming back, the taxi driver fell off the ramp leading into the taxi, and the wheelchair and Mum fell sideways off the ramp and landed on top of the taxi driver.

At first, we thought that everyone had been injured, and that could well have been the case. But as we were in the hospital car park, there were medics on the scene very quickly.

No one sustained any injuries; I was glad to be able to leave it to the experts and just observe what was happening.

The outcome was good, and even though my mother can be difficult at times, it is her plucky spirit that keeps her going. I saw a different side of her, the grim determination to be vital, kept her from being kept in hospital overnight.

When she saw my brother later in the evening, she joked that she was all shook up like Elvis.

Yes, the thing could have turned out to be more serious, and we might all have been thinking differently this morning. I am not going to go into the idea that someone was taking care of her because often that can seem too high-minded to many people. But the thing is that it all turned out to be well.

The taxi company gave us a free ride home, the wait in Casualty was only an hour, my Mum saw the funny side of it and is feeling grateful that things were ok. The taxi driver was unhurt and so was Mum.

There were so many good things that came out of the incident. There was the sense of caring and expertise from the staff on the scene, and I was able to relax and surrender my Mums care to them.

The fact that I can see the funny side of it, the fact that I can see the good that came out of it and the fact that all was well; is being vital.

If I were feeling redundant at my age now, I would probably have just seen how awful it all was. I could have felt redundant when I had to leave the matter to the experts. I could be thinking that the taxi driver was an idiot. I could be cursing the fact that the dogs had peed on the carpet when we eventually got home!

But my strongest feeling this morning is one of gratefulness and knowing that we are all vital, as long as we are alive.

No person needs to feel redundant. Even those elderly people suffering from dementia, are vital. Those who are very ill and dying, at any age are vital.

Even that person who “Gets on your Wick” has a place in the world.

So are you vital or redundant?

I know that I am vital, and that’s why I am Ageing with Vitality.

Just an after-thought here. My definition of being vital does not mean that we have to have the body or energy of a forty-year-old! That may be possible for some, but please don’t run away with the idea that if you are feeling less energetic than you were in your forties, that does not prevent you from being vital!happycherry_cover

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Surrender to Age?

 

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As we go through our lives, we unconsciously make transitions through several changes in our lives.

But only unconsciously as we define it in our eyes.

Because in a lot of ways we make conscious decisions, or they are made for us.

When we are born, we are placed in the care of adults. We may be born to that adult, or they may adopt us in some way. In any case, we would not survive without being in the care of a responsible adult. Consequently, they are making decisions for us.

We are all greatly influenced by others decisions for us, but as we grow older, we start to realise that many of these decisions are not the ones which we would choose for ourselves. They have not been conscious, informed decisions.

So when we reach our teenage years, we can rebel. Often we rebel in a diverse way, far apart from anything that our carers think is the right thing.

We almost become strangers to ourselves. If we do not make a choice at this age, and just go along with the status quo, and what is expected of us, it will happen sooner or later.

I did not become aware that I had a choice until I turned forty years of age. When it did happen there were consequences that literally brought the roof down over my head! (Details will be in a book that I have decided to write!)

I did not “surrender to getting married, having children and being a good little Christian and housewife.  All the time that I was in this role, my spirit was rebelling. I was not submissive, although people around me were telling me I should be. What I did, was go along with the flow and “give in” to what I thought was expected of me. That was what good little women should do. I had been taught that if I went against the flow, there would be dire consequences. And so I lived in fear.

In my previous blog, I talked about the difference, with ageing,  between “giving in” and “surrender.”  I promised  I would tell you the difference.

My story above is a typical example. I will add that there were dire consequences, but, at the end of the day, I am so glad that I did not spend the rest of my life in a “giving in” and boring way. The life that I have had since I stopped giving in, has been exciting and I feel liberated.

When we know the truth, it will make us free!

We are ageing throughout our lives. In many cases, we are giving in, especially while we are children and naïve. Maturity brings wisdom. As we go through life, we start to make conscious choices, or not. Some people never make consious choices, and live their entire lives doing what is expected of them or “giving in.”

If we don’t make conscious choices, then we will just go along with or give in to what our peers or elders expect. We may smoke, drink or not. We may eat healthily or not. We may decide to have a baby because our friends have them. We may decide to have sex because everyone else seems to be doing it.

This is not surrendering, it is giving in to what is expected of us.

So what about retirement and the third age?

We expect to have certain illnesses. We are expected just to go on outings. We are expected to join the senior citizens club.

We have less energy, become forgetful, may need a stick, not see so well. Become hard of hearing.

We start to lose friends to death, or to Dementia.

We feel as if we are falling into an abyss of old age, and it can be frightening and depressing. BUT ONLY IF YOU ALLOW IT, BY JUST GIVING IN to what is expected.

Consequently as a younger person, usually in our late fifties or early sixties, we start to become aware of these things happening, and we become afraid, deny it is happening and try everything we can to avoid it.

This is where surrender comes in. This is where we make conscious decisions.ConsciousAgingLogo

While we are in our sixties, we need to start planning ahead. Look at surrendering to ageing, with an intention.

If you are reading this as an older person, you can start to change things now.  It is never too late.

We can fight the older years, become stressed out with the battle, and make ourselves ill, frail, depressed or lonely.

OR, we can give in and go along with the flow of what is expected.

OR, best of all, we can surrender to the ageing process, but at the same time find out what our intention will be in our older years.

With intention, life in our older years can be a pleasure.

My next blog will be about how we can have intention in our older age, and see those years as Eldership, not just being old.

For more on Ageing with Vitality, go to http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com

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The Culture of Death.

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The culture of death differs all over the world. Many of the rituals and rules surrounding death are for practical reasons, such as the climate, temperature, etc. Religious rules developed from these practical needs.Daisies

Human’s have been on this planet for a long time. But according to findings from archaeologists, rituals around burial, and disposal of the body has been around for all that time too.

I haven’t space or time to go into a history today; that will take another article. But I will say that in the 20th Century, death in England became taboo.

So that you can get the picture, I am going to describe four funerals.

The first one is an experience recently of a friend of mine. Grace was born in Northern Ireland. Very recently she went there to attend the funeral of a close friend’s husband.

The culture in Northern Ireland is to respect death and honour the deceased. Part of this respect in Grace’s eyes was getting up in the very early hours of the morning at 3 am, to travel to Bristol to catch a 7 am flight to Belfast.

When she arrived in Belfast, her taxi driver was very kind and reduced the fare. Not only that, but he took her back to the airport the next day. Again he saw this as respect because Grace was attending a funeral.

Since Billy had died, which was in hospital, a week before, he had been lying in an open casket in the front room of his own house, and people held what is known as a vigil. The old belief is that the soul takes three days to leave the body. But even if they no longer believe that the vigil is an essential part of the culture, and it also means that the closest family are not left alone, and there is always someone in the house, to talk, have a cup of tea with and draw comfort from.

The Mass was being held at 10 am. Before that, at the house, Grace found the coffin still open in the front room, with hundreds of cards beneath. After she had paid her respects, it was time for a final goodbye by Billy’s wife, to her husband. The wife sang a little song to Billy, then kissed him goodbye, just before the Funeral Director arrived to seal the coffin.

There was a parade of people following the hearse to the church, on foot. After a personal address, mass and service led by the priest, everyone went to the crematorium, where they enjoyed listening to Billy’s favourite Pop songs, including the Everly Brothers, before he was cremated. At the end of which everyone attended the Wake.

Funeral number 2, was an English Funeral. The same friend heard that a neighbour had died. When she asked her husband who out of the two of them would attend the funeral, he was surprised to think that Grace would even consider it. Grace, in turn, was shocked to realise that this attitude was normal for England.

She attended the funeral and found that no-one else in the street went.  There were only a handful of people there, even though this elderly couple had lived in the same street for over fifty years.

The coffin was brought to the church and paraded down the aisle to the words from the C of E funeral book. After a couple of prayers, and mournful hymns, led by a vicar who obviously did not know the chap who had died, the close family went to the Crematorium and everyone went home.

I attended a similar family funeral a couple of months ago, and the picture was the same. No sense of community, because there were only about twenty people scattered all over the church which was big enough to hold three hundred. I wanted to gather them all together and ask them to sit closer to the front. The body had been in the funeral Directors offices, taken out for a viewing at an appointed time, with an hour time slot. Then put back in the fridge until the funeral.

The vicar did not know anyone, spoke over the top of everyone’s head and was quite impersonal.

The few members of the family present went with the coffin to the Crematorium and the people in the church, just went home. Even though there would be a cup of tea at the house, the family had requested that only close family go to the crematorium. So that there was no sense of community or even a chance for anyone to pay their respects to the husband.

At the fourth funeral, everyone gathered outside the Crematorium, and the procession was led in by a Funeral Celebrant. She had been in touch with the family ever since the death.

After bowing to the coffin and placing a lovely photograph of the dead person on top, she took her place at the lectern and asked everyone to sit down.

She read some beautiful opening words acknowledging the family by name and saying a few words about death, and how everyone sees it differently.

The eulogy was read by the son of the person who had died, but it had been a joint effort with the Funeral Celebrant during an hours interview and meeting the family. The eulogy had everyone laughing and crying and reminded us of the character and life of the man who had died.

After the eulogy, everyone sang “Abide with Me,” not necessarily for religious reasons, but because Albert had been a big football fan.

This was followed by five minutes of reflection, listening to Leona Lewis singing “Footprints in the Sand”  while we all looked at a show of pictures on the screen above, of Alberts journey through life, his children and grandchildren.

The children who were present then went up to the catafalque and placed a flower on top of the coffin. Followed by those who wanted to, just to touch the coffin and say goodbye.

After a short committal prayer, the curtains were closed, and the Funeral Celebrant then closed the procedure with appropriate words including a poem about taking up the reins of life without the dead person.

We left the church to the sound of Acker Bilk!

There was then a Wake in the local football club premises.

I will leave it to you to assess what you think would give the most satisfactory way of saying goodbye and support loved ones left behind. It may be one particular funeral described here, or it may be a combination.

The moral of the story is that it is possible to do things differently with death.

The lady who founded the group that I trained with, Jane Morrell, had a vision of “Changing the face of funerals in England.”

The culture in England is one of secrecy. The body is quickly removed from the place of death, often even while it is still warm, whisked away to have “mysterious things” done to it.

We may have a chance to see it; all made up to look good, for a while at the appointed time in the funeral directors office.

On the day, the hearse turns up either at the Crematorium or the church, and there may be a good ceremony or not.

(Have you noticed the disrespect from other drivers when they see a funeral procession lately?)

This culture makes bad things even worse, and the funeral is something to dread even more, than just the saying goodbye.

Jane was inspired when she had that vision. We do need to change the face of funerals. We need a better culture of death.

If you want to read more about death, please visit my website

http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com

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How to Save Money on Funerals

 

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Are you being sold down the river with TV adverts saying that the average cost of a funeral is £7500?SDC13832

It would be nearer the mark to say that it is more like £3500. But you can do it for even less than that.

  • Is the subject of death taboo to your family?
  • Do those around you know what you want to happen?
  • Do they know your tastes in music or poetry?
  • Do they know your personal beliefs?

They may know what you don’t want, but do they know what you do want?

Have you had the Big Conversation with loved ones about death?

Whether you have or not, I am offering a chance for you to find out all that there is to know and how you can save your family more grief, money, and searching when the time comes. You can find it all in a FREE report by sending me an email with no ties to newsletters.

trishcherry734@gmail.com

Also, the chances are, that even at this present time, you are wondering about funeral arrangements in the near future for a loved one.

You don’t know where to start. You simply have not done this before.

And it is worth remembering that death can apply to anyone at any age. 

Many people say that because they have no beliefs, they do not want a funeral. But you can still have a funeral with no beliefs, and just celebrate the life.

Death and all that it entails is not a subject that is discussed openly and honestly these days. People shy away for various reasons.

The family is expected to find the money for a funeral, and there is no way that they could afford the prices that are bandied about.

The FREE report will help you to find out the easy way because I have done the research for you, studied the subject and am also a professionally trained Funeral Celebrant.

I am offering a unique opportunity for you to create a Funeral Ceremony Will and also find ways to save money on the funeral.

Starting at just £25 I will create a Ceremony Will in which you can state what you want to happen in the event of your death. The details are in the report. But receiving the report does not obligate you in any way.

Many families get involved in further grief trying to arrange a funeral for someone. Arguments ensue, there can be a feeling that something was missing, or a feeling of dissatisfaction and wondering whether the deceased person would have wanted that. There may somehow be a lack of closure.

Someone in the family cannot accept the deceased person’s beliefs or non-beliefs. But if there is a Ceremony Will in with other legal documents such as the funeral plan or legal will, saying what they wanted to happen, there can be no dispute.

The report tells you everything you may want to know about funerals. It describes what happens first after death, and what happens next. If you do have any questions, please ask me.

It describes what choices there are, covers burial, cremation, and other choices, and gives some surprising information about where you can hold a funeral. Did you know for instance that you can hold a funeral in your back garden?

All you have to do is to let me have your email address with no subscribing to newsletters. I will send the report back as a PDF attachment.

trishcherry734@gmail.com

Very soon there will be an opportunity to sign up for newsletters. Meanwhile, if you do not want to be added to a mailing list, please state that in your initial email, but until then, this is the way to go..

I do hope that I can be a support you in this difficult subject. But there is a thought that once you have sorted out the matter of what death means to you, it enriches your life. My personal experience is that it is true. 

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What is an Independent Funeral Celebrant?

 

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Hi there.

Have you been wondering about how to have a funeral for someone who is not affiliated to any church or perhaps does not have any particular set of beliefs? 

And yet, you would like to have a funeral that would give the family a chance to say a meaningful goodbye.

When you come to arrange a funeral, very often the choice seems limited to either a religious one, or a secular.

In a church, or in the Crematorium.

But it does not have to be one or the other, you can have an amalgamation of both.

You may also, like a friend of mine recently, like to arrange your own funeral service, because you feel strongly about it. We got together and wrote a script for a funeral that is meaningful to her, and will save her family a lot of worry when she dies.

So here is what is happening in the world of funerals.

An Independent Funeral Celebrant is someone who will assist you in organising and leading a funeral ceremony. In the 21st Century, many people are unafilliated to churches or other religious or even non religious groups. Often when someone dies, the family do not realise that they have a choice. An alternative to a priest of other officiant, is the INDEPENDENT FUNERAL CELEBRANT.

They will visit you in your home and get to know you and the deceased persons beliefs, background and wishes. From this they will help you to construct a funeral that is meaningful and become an important ritual to enable closure and the last chance to focus on the loved one who has died. The Celebrant will then lead the ceremony for you or organise it so that family and friends can take part. 

I can now do this for you. This is what my leaflet says about me. 

Patricia is deeply compassionate and has been offering care, support and friendship all of her life.

She will gently guide you and your loved ones through a Funeral Ceremony which will be part of the healing process of losing a loved one.

We all need loving support at these times, and she will help to create a funeral which will be remembered as a positive experience to enable you to move on.

I am in the final stages of my training at this moment, (April 2016) But can now take funerals with the supervision of Green Fuse, with whom I am training.

If you want to know more, then you can contact me on my email and make arrangements for a short informal chat.

I am also available to give talks at groups, or organisations. 

trishcherry734@gmail.com

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Older or Wiser?

ConsciousAgingLogoJust a short blog this week, with a copy of something from the book “The Sages Tao Te Ching.” by William Martin.

This says everything that I believe about ageing. It is why I have named my vision and desire to share with the world how to Age with Vitality.berries-1024x300

 

Growing older either reveals or hides the mystery of existence.

If you are becoming a Sage you will grow in trust and contentment. You will discover the light of lifes deepest truths. If you are merely growing older, you will become trapped by fears and frustrations. You will see only the darkness of infirmity and death. 

The great task of the Sage is learning to see in the darkness and not be afraid. 

There is one primary choice facing every ageing person: Will we become Sages, harvesting the spiritual essence of our lives and blessing all future generations? Or will we just grow older. withdrawing, circling the wagons, and waiting for the end?

I know which I am choosing, how about you?

There will be more to come, I promise. I am still beavering away on my Diploma level 3 for the Funeral Celebrancy. I am looking forward to sharing a lot of what I am learning with you all.

It is not a subject that people like to think about, even among those of us who are more conscious. But there are only three certainties in life we are born, we live and we die.

While we are living, let us be wise elders and sages and be a support to those coming along behind.

Wouldn’t it be nice to know that we are spreading love, joy and peace to the world.

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Whatever!

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Whatever!

How often do you use that expression?

Sometimes when we are discussing something, and the other person begins to feel they are losing the argument. They will just say “whatever?”

Or if the other person or even you, doesn’t mind what the choice is when you are both trying to make up your mind what to do, it’s a useful word, right?

But have you stopped to think about the effects this could have? Either good or bad. Whatever!

I found myself using it this morning when I found myself waiting at a bus stop in the rain, for a bus that I found out afterwards had broken down. But I just said “whatever” and enjoyed listening to Wayne Dyer, a spiritual writer and teacher on my iPhone Audio.

Of course, it all depends on the attitude you may have about the word.

Does it mean you couldn’t care less?

Does it mean that you genuinely don’t mind because you want what’s best for the other person?

Or does it have a deeper meaning because you mean that you just want to “Let Go and Let God?”

I have got into a way of thinking now, that no matter what happens, even standing in the rain, I just “Let Go”. While I was waiting, and listening to Wayne, I simply thought that somehow it really did not matter, because there must be a good reason, and “All is well”.

Instead of focusing on the fact that the bus was late, I focused on the fact that there was a shelter and I was not getting wet. In the end, I waited for forty minutes. But I felt that it was worth it because it gave me valuable time to listen to Wayne narrating his book “The Power of Intention”, and I was away from the pressures of home life.

So it is with everything in life. You can let yourself be stressed out over something or you can just “Let Go”.  Whatever.

It is just the same with Ageing.ConsciousAgingLogo

People in western society see death as something to fear. I believe that there are many reasons for this. Fear of illness, fear of loneliness and fear of dependency on others. But the big one is fear of death.

As Wayne Dyer was saying (see I told you there was a reason that bus was late), it is easier for us to pretend that death is not going to happen to us. Our thinking is that it happens to everyone else. So we go through life unprepared and in denial.

Many of us don’t prepare, even when we are older. I was talking to a friend yesterday who is 91 this year. When I told her that I am training to be a Funeral Celebrant, she was horrified. She thought that it was very peculiar to be thinking about death and funerals, it’s something that she would rather not think about.

I am now 71 and am hoping that I will live a healthy life, supporting others for at least another 25 years. By then I think that I will be ready to retire. There is every possibility that this can happen as there is longevity in my family.

I admit that I do not want to die yet. Simply because I still have so much that I want to do.life journal

But I am willing to be ready for the day. If you know of Wayne Dyer, you will know that he died at the age of 75 last August. At first, it seemed a mystery why this happened when he was doing so much good in the world with his inspirational teaching. But all the same, he was ready.

Death is simply another dimension. One that we don’t understand. But we are simply going back to the state that we were in before we were born on earth.

I think that we need to be prepared from the physical point of view, for ageing and dying. Such as knowing what we would like our loved ones to do with our possessions, funeral and disposal of our body.

While we are still alive, we need to look after our physical bodies to keep as healthy as possible. A nutritious diet, very little alcohol, no smoking and keeping active rather than strenuous exercise.

Keep our minds active, by learning, reading and stretching our creativeness.

And keep our Spiritual lives in a healthy place too. No matter what our beliefs, it is good to have a meditative, prayerful and inspirational aspect.

My design Keep your eye.

What can we give to others?

Rather than thinking about what we can get, we need to be ready to give. No matter what state we are in with health, wealth or happiness.

We can all spread and give away, love, peace and joy, or we can give away destructive thoughts that do no one any good, ourselves or others, by constant moaning and complaining about what we have not got, instead of being grateful for what we have. Misery perpetuates misery, and joy perpetuates joy.

Did you know that when you perform an act of kindness, your body produces more Serotonin, the feel good hormone? The same with receiving kindness, and even when you witness an act of kindness.

So no matter what age we are, it is excellent to be prepared for the day that we die. We could die tomorrow. But if you are ready, and you have faced up to the fact that you are going to die, then you can get on with your life and not be afraid.

If you take care of your mind, body and spirit, then you can make the most of every moment of your life.

You can live in the NOW, and you can honestly say “Whatever!” and mean it.

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