Vital or Redundant in Ageing?

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The Cambridge definition of the word “Vital” is;

Necessary for the success or continued existence of something; extremely important.

The Cambridge definition of the word “redundant” is;

Unnecessary because it is more than is needed.

Which category do you think you fit into?

 

I am determined that I fit into the vital one. I have decided that right up until the day when I die, I will not become redundant.

Because I know that what you think is what you get, I know that this will happen. I want to be vital to my family, friends and all those that I come into contact with.

You may be thinking that this is a huge claim to make. None of us knows what is going to happen to us from day to day. We may think we have a fair idea, and we make plans, but often those plans don’t come to fruition.

But being vital is all about what we make of those times when things go wrong. It is what we see in them and what we make of them.

Yesterday we took my 94-year-old Mother to an outpatient’s appointment at the hospital. She is very frail, so we needed to hire the use of a special taxi to take her in a wheelchair. When we were coming back, the taxi driver fell off the ramp leading into the taxi, and the wheelchair and Mum fell sideways off the ramp and landed on top of the taxi driver.

At first, we thought that everyone had been injured, and that could well have been the case. But as we were in the hospital car park, there were medics on the scene very quickly.

No one sustained any injuries; I was glad to be able to leave it to the experts and just observe what was happening.

The outcome was good, and even though my mother can be difficult at times, it is her plucky spirit that keeps her going. I saw a different side of her, the grim determination to be vital, kept her from being kept in hospital overnight.

When she saw my brother later in the evening, she joked that she was all shook up like Elvis.

Yes, the thing could have turned out to be more serious, and we might all have been thinking differently this morning. I am not going to go into the idea that someone was taking care of her because often that can seem too high-minded to many people. But the thing is that it all turned out to be well.

The taxi company gave us a free ride home, the wait in Casualty was only an hour, my Mum saw the funny side of it and is feeling grateful that things were ok. The taxi driver was unhurt and so was Mum.

There were so many good things that came out of the incident. There was the sense of caring and expertise from the staff on the scene, and I was able to relax and surrender my Mums care to them.

The fact that I can see the funny side of it, the fact that I can see the good that came out of it and the fact that all was well; is being vital.

If I were feeling redundant at my age now, I would probably have just seen how awful it all was. I could have felt redundant when I had to leave the matter to the experts. I could be thinking that the taxi driver was an idiot. I could be cursing the fact that the dogs had peed on the carpet when we eventually got home!

But my strongest feeling this morning is one of gratefulness and knowing that we are all vital, as long as we are alive.

No person needs to feel redundant. Even those elderly people suffering from dementia, are vital. Those who are very ill and dying, at any age are vital.

Even that person who “Gets on your Wick” has a place in the world.

So are you vital or redundant?

I know that I am vital, and that’s why I am Ageing with Vitality.

Just an after-thought here. My definition of being vital does not mean that we have to have the body or energy of a forty-year-old! That may be possible for some, but please don’t run away with the idea that if you are feeling less energetic than you were in your forties, that does not prevent you from being vital!happycherry_cover

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Vision and Purpose as we Age.

 

vision board 2016

Many may say that at the age of 72, all you need to worry about is looking after yourself. Your health, your wealth and your welfare.

Yes, folks that is so true.

Taking care of ageing bodies is vital for your health, by *eating sensibly, keeping active and taking good care of the financial situation. Care of your appearance is also important, and hygiene with your personal care and surroundings is essential for general well-being.

Keeping active in the sense of exercise, such as walking, swimming or weight supporting activities, is also something to keep those bones and the cardiovascular system healthy.

And what about your Spiritual and mental wellbeing?

Meditation* is fast becoming one of the ways that people are getting in touch with something more than the outer body and world.

Spirituality, awareness and consciousness is a great purpose as we age.

Yesterday I went to a casual meeting of Damsels, (A national movement called Damsels in Success for women) in which we made up our vision boards for what we want.

Contrary to many older people’s beliefs, there is nothing wrong with wanting things, as long as we are not taking them away from others.

But we were all reminded that our wants are not just about things.

We thought about our purpose too.

We need to think about what we want in the way of why we are here, our legacies to the world in the way of wisdom, service to the planet as a whole and spreading love and peace. How we want to be in our interactions with people, and how we want the world to remember us.

Younger people tend to think about purpose as being what their careers may be or how they can serve the world and make a living doing what they love. That is the natural course of life.

But as we age, it is a good idea to look at our purpose in the last what could be thirty or forty years of our lives.

We had a lot of fun yesterday, and there were some children there too. Adult children and young children alike were absorbed in finding pictures in magazines. Cutting and gluing and arranging the pictures.

Now my vision board is sitting on the wall in my office, and it is going to be interesting to see how it develops.

I did a vision board about two years ago, and three quarters of it came to fruition. So this idea works. It is mainly to help to focus on what you really want in life.

I have published my vision board above for you to see. Some of it is not very clear, but I hope that you will get the gist.

There are holidays that I want to go on and clothes that I want.

On the right-hand side, you can see a picture of an audience. That is a vision I have for speaking to larger audiences. So far they have been quite small.

There is a picture of a choir, well actually I already belong to one.

The picture of Helen Merrin contains the words “Gold not Old”. I am aware that I cannot change my older looks, and the wrinkles, but I want people to see past the wrinkles and see the gold of kindness and support to others.

On the left is a beautiful garden in which I can visualise myself sitting. We only have a small garden where I am living, and gardening is not my forte. But year after year and with some patience, I am gradually building up something like the illustration. But you never know, one day something or someone may turn up to help me make a better job.

There are several little sentences that I found such as “Home is where the heart is”  “See the beauty in everything”  “Why be dull?”

There is also a sentence at the bottom that clinches it all. “Signed Sealed and Delivered”

That means that I believe that it will happen. The Universe always has our best welfare in mind. I never cease to be amazed at the synchronicities that happen every day for me.

I am not saying that life is golden, and things are not tough for me at times, but when they are I am aware of the fact that the Universe does indeed have my welfare in mind because it has everyone’s welfare in mind. We are all part of that whether we are aware of it or not.

What is your vision and purpose for the rest of your life?

*There are blogs on these subjects on my Website, patriciacherrylifecoach.com
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Wrong Emotions or are they? Ageing.

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Over the last few days, I have encountered several people who are into the “Can’t be Arsed” mood.

These days those of us who are looking at making our lives meaningful and doing the Personal Development/spiritual growth/ mental therapy thing, are taught a lot about our visions, goals, purpose and where we are going in life.

And that is, of course, a good thing. We all need purpose and vision, even when we are an Elder, in age.Vector icon of justice scales

But we also need balance.

There are times when we feel tired, lacking energy, depressed and anxious. We may be worried about something; we may have financial difficulties that seem insurmountable at times. We may have illness around, or lost a loved one.

Or, even more important, there may not be any reason at all! There does not always have to be a reason. You may just need time out to “be.”SDC13676

Also, at the time of writing, we are having very hot weather in the UK, which our bodies are not used to. We are used to the cool. We go a little bit crazy when we get a hot spell. Nothing wrong with that either, it is so good to see people smiling and greeting one another, in pretty clothes, or not, in some cases! And many of us seem to lack our usual energy.

When we have these days feeling under par, we start “beating ourselves up.”

“If I am a spiritual being, then I should not be feeling like this. Or; “If I am intending to age with vitality, what sort of example am I setting?”   One teacher describes it as “My Chakra’s are broken”.  I love that thought. It just about describes what we may be feeling.

There is also the well-known mantra going around which states “What you think is what you get!” Yes, it’s true, but there are times when you are going to feel negative, and your chakras are broken. But hey! That does not mean that life is going to be on the downturn.caringsupportwh

God’s promises are still there, even when we doubt them. We don’t have to feel that we must hang on for dear life.

In the long term, we may also feel as if we are out of line because we don’t feel what we are expected to feel at certain times.

Elizabeth Gilbert, who is famous for her book  “Eat, Pray, Love” wrote an excellent article which was posted on my Facebook newsfeed today, about this.

https://www.facebook.com/GilbertLiz/photos/a.356148997800555.79726.227291194019670/1086540191428095/?type=3&theater

Do you ever feel out of sync when you don’t feel the same as society thinks you should? Elizabeth Gilbert, explains that we don’t need to worry about it.

We need to be authentic, real and state how we feel. I am not talking about outright cruel words, and of course, we need to be aware of other people’s feelings. But we and they, also need to be aware of our own feelings and not expect all of us to feel the same.

I don’t watch the endless news. I go for the headlines and not listen to journalists opinions. I am also aware of perspective in any given circumstance. Everyone on the scene is going to see it from a different perspective. That is why I don’t always believe or take on board what is said from reports.

I have seen aged friends be down and miserable because they love to watch endless news programmes. When I suggest that perhaps they could watch or do something else instead, they reply that I am selfish by not wanting to know!

As we age, society expects us to be a certain way. “Act your age!” applies to any age, but somehow the older we get, the more we are expected to conform.

Two Grans.,

 

This pair are my two Grans from the 1950’s. They were certainly conforming, weren’t they? They were both in their early seventies when this photo was taken. The same age as I am now!

As time has gone on, the ageing population are so much more liberated, and we do tend to do our own thing. Spending the children’s inheritance. Skydiving, motorcycling, dancing, holidays, and other wonderful activities.

But have we gone too far the other way? Are we expecting too much of ourselves as we age? Do you feel guilty or wonder what’s wrong with you when you “Can’t be Arsed?”  Do you feel that your emotions are wrong about how to age?

Or do you want to be your own person, and age exactly how you want to do it?

For more on Ageing with Vitality you can go to.

http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com

 

 

 

 

 

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The Unity of Ageing.

And God felt bored. So He decided to invent the Law of Diversity!

The Unity of Ageing.

We are all one substance, right down to the last molecule.

This has become a well-known fact. We are a Unity, part of one vast Universe.

Rocks, plants, earth, animals and humans are all one.autumn2011 031012

Yet we humans continue to live in separation.

We show this with war, putting people into a class or caste structure, wealth and poverty and religion.

We also tend to put age groups into structures too. We fail to see that we are all one unity no matter what age we are.

Children, adolescents, adults, middle age and old.

All these titles are well recognised in society as something “we are” at any given age. Children are in the 0 to 15 age group, adolescents from 13 to 21 and so on.

But have you noticed the tendency to keep changing the title of people over the age of 60?

There are young elderly, elderly, advanced citizens, and so forth. Even the grammar check that I use comes up with “this is a politically incorrect statement” if I use the words “old people!”

When we are filling in forms, the age brackets are broken down until they reach the age of 65. 20-30, 30-40 and so on then when the age of 65 is reached it becomes 65+

How often do you hear people talking about “The Elderly”.

How often do you hear people talking about “The Middle aged?”

I bet that you hear the first expression far more often.

If we don’t die tragically at a much younger age, we are all going to become old!

Older people are not some separate being; they are us at an older age.

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If we did not have the human invention of clocks and calenders, I wonder how old we would actually feel?

But we fail to recognise this fact. We often fail to recognise that old people have “been there and done that”. They have been through some of the stuff that younger people will go through.

We seem to drift through life thinking of old age as some distant entity and deny that fact for as long as we can.

I have done that myself, up until very recently. I have thought that I would be one of the elderly people who can still climb a mountain or go skydiving at the age of ninety.

But now, I have realised that it  “’ain’t goin’ to ‘appen!”

However, that does not put me into a category of just sitting back and getting old.

What it has done is help me to put my priorities right, start taking my lower energy into account and asking every day what my function is for today. Never mind next week, next month or next year.

But life is still a big adventure, and ageing can be too. 

Yes, I can make plans, but I also have to bear in mind that something may stop me, and surrender to whatever it is.

These last sentences are only personal experience. The point that I want to make is;

We are all one Unity, and that means that old people are simply young people who have been on the planet a bit longer than their young counterparts. They are not a separate entity.

Live your life, enjoy your youth but always bear in mind that you can have a good life in your latter days. It is all down to perception.

I shall write about perception in my next blog.

Namaste.

If you want to read more on a different and conscious way of Ageing with Vitality then look up http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.comhappycherry_cover

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The Mystery of Ageing.

My design Keep your eye.

A similar word to that of Mystery is Mastery, isn’t it?

While contemplating my own ageing process this morning, it has dawned on me that there is a lot around us these days about anti-ageing, conscious ageing, and even with myself “Ageing with Vitality.”

I have been through a transition in my life over the last couple of months, and the main theme of that transition has been “Surrender”. (Which I have written about in the previous few articles.) http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com/blog/

During that transitioning process, it has been a revelation to me that I simply cannot be in control of my own ageing. I cannot be the Master of my destiny.

However much I work at how to age consciously and with awareness, this still does not mean that I can control the outcome.

Ageing does bring about physical impairment, cognitive impairment and some amount of dependence.

I am watching the process of my Mothers very old years. In this process I am constantly reminded of my own ageing.

We are almost bombarded by stories of marvellous old people who are doing wonderful things at certain ages. Skydiving, marathon running, etc.  Somehow ageing in a normal way is seen as a failure.

This is the mystery of ageing. We like to think that if we do this or if we do that, we won’t get old so quickly. We are putting off the evil day, as it were.

But think of the word mystery. We love to read a good mystery. We watch detective stories and love to try and solve who did it. As children, many of us used to read Enid Blyton Mysteries. Part of the excitement was the exploration.

Now, personally, I am exploring the world of ageing. I am facing my own mystery of ageing. Some of it is in shadow, and there are certainly shadow aspects in ageing.1992 - 1999 021

But I want to live in the light of ageing, which will in turn light up the shadow side.

So while I cannot be the master of my ageing process, I can be seeing it as a great adventure. I can be excited at the discovery of the mystery of ageing.

I had a vision this morning of an adult person putting up a large silk tent. The colour was lemon and lilac. Underneath that tent, which was billowing, there was a small child waiting to put his little red tent up. Waiting for the adult to show him what to do.

At the time of this vision, I was meditating and thinking of how my Mother was at the age I am now. I am learning from her how to age and how not to age. I am hoping that the lessons that I am learning will stand me in good stead for when I am 94 years old.

I am learning from my Mother, how to put up my little red tent!

But the main thing is that I have already learnt today, at 7 am, that there is a narrow line between Mystery and Mastery.

I cannot control, or master my ageing process, but I can enter the mystery with wonder, and a sense of learning, discovery and spirituality.

Have you considered your ageing?

Are you in denial that it will happen?

Are you hoping to Master the outcome?

Or, are you going to see it as a big, scary adventure and solve the mystery of how to age with vitality and be in the light.

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Just to BE when ageing.

My design Keep your eye.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, Courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. 

For me today is a day, to gather my wits about me, and spend the day as a “Human Being”, and not a “Human Doing!”

Part of that, is to simply rest in knowing that all is well. Even though circumstances get difficult at times, just surrendering and not feeling that I have to battle my way through the day, over everything that seems to go wrong, is the key to staying sane.

Even simple things like having a converstaion with a GP over my Mother’s welfare, are not easy in the 21st century, in the days of Care in the Community.

So for today I have no great philosophical insights for you, because I am having a rest.

That is; I am resting in the knowledge that all is well, even when it does not seem like it. 

I know that at the end of day, even in turmoil, I can just “Be” in peace and joy.

This is one of the keys to having Intention while ageing, and my Intention is to be a wise Elder. Wisdom for my own welfare as well as others eh?

God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, Courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

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Ageing is not just about “ME”

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In my previous blog, we discussed Ageing with Intention.

http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com/blog/

It has occurred to me that we could misunderstand the true purpose of ageing with intention, ageing with consciousness or ageing with vitality.

The world is becoming a very challenging place in which to live. It has always been challenging of course, but life was much simpler and up until as recently as 100 years ago, life for most of us was within the boundaries of our physical locality.

Certainly, I can remember as a child just sixty years ago, thinking of the world outside as a dangerous and threatening place. I had not even visited London, which was just 250 miles away, until the age of 14.

Our biggest challenge in those days was to leave school and get a decent job. Our social life was the Saturday night out, usually at the local dance hall. These were the days of rock and roll, coffee bars and the cinema.

These days, we travel worldwide. On returning from holiday only last week, I remember remarking to my friend, “I’m worn out, and I have only travelled from Germany!”  Only travelled from Germany? In one day, coach, plane and train!  Even as I said it, I thought how ridiculous that remark was in the light of the progress humans have made in the last 72 years since I came to this planet.

During the days of the Baby Boomers, life has changed out of all recognition. Those of you reading this as Baby Boomers will know what I mean.

Ageing too has changed for the better.

We have cosmetic surgery, enlightened ways of eating, makeup, groups on Facebook about anti-ageing. Creams, supposedly to help avoid wrinkles, and so on.

But these things are only tackling ageing on the outside.

What about our inner beings? What about the spirit and soul?

There is a shift going on. It is difficult to pinpoint when this shift started. But people began to be disillusioned by the teachings and practice of the church.

They began to see that consumerism is not working. Things were not giving the satisfaction that they imagined it would.

During the 1960’s the notion of the power of love began to take hold. At the time it was seen by our parents as “way out”, or of the devil, it would never last. Drugs were involved, and so the love movement took on something that was evil, way out and needed to be nipped in the bud.

The consequence of this was that drugs took on a powerful means of money making, smuggling, murder and other dire consequences. Young people now live in a world where drugs are sold behind counters in pubs and clubs, as a means of having a good time. Drugs then lead to more crime, misery and death to ordinary people. Life took on a much bigger challenge for these young people.

But, there was another, a better consequence of the love movement.

Love is energy.

Young people began to go to places like India seeking out spiritual masters who taught about the meaning of love. John Lennon was famous for many songs, but the songs “Give Peace a Chance” and “Imagine” came from somewhere deep inside of him. He had been to India too and sat at the feet of a spiritual master.

Skip forward to the present day, and there are many teachers coming forward with inspirational teachings.

So, what has all this got to do with the fact that ageing with vitality is not all about “me”?

In my previous articles, I spoke about ageing with intention and being a wise elder.

When we make a mission out of ageing, with purpose, intention and in a conscious manner, we are doing our bit in our little corner of the world to make life more peaceful and joyous for those coming behind.

By example we can show them that although we have been through tough times, may even be ill, may be physically challenged, they can still expect to learn from us, that there is no room for bitterness and unforgiveness.

In my work with Elderly people, in homes and their own homes, I have seen the effect that people have on the carers and their families and themselves.

One old lady had lost one leg, her breasts and was blind. Yet we loved looking after her because she used to cheer us up. She used to joke that they would save money on her funeral because they would only be burying half of her.

On the other hand, one old chap used to swear and curse us, and we dreaded taking care of him. We learnt afterwards that he had been a man who had abused his family. The point is that it was he who needed to look within. Even though he was living in misery, we still gave him the care that he needed. We did not punish him; he was punishing himself.

Giving and receiving are the same energy.

So to sum up, the point of getting ourselves sorted out while we are still able to, is not just for ourselves, but for the sake of the world at large. We are part of the Universe. The Universe is one big, vast cosmos, everything in it is energy, and you too are made up of that same energy.

Every individual is essential to the growth and survival of it.ConsciousAgingLogo

So can you see that ageing with intention or vitality in a conscious way, is our part of the whole plan?

It is not just about me.

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Ageing with Intention. (Aging)

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A dictionary definition of the word intention is;

An act or instance of determining upon some action or result.

Another definition of the word used by Wayne Dyer who was a great teacher of all things in mind, body and spirit are;

Intention is a field of energy that flows invisibly beyond the reach of our normal, everyday habitual patterns.

Both of these definitions will suit the purpose of this article, which is going to be about our intentions in our ageing process.

Yesterday we talked about surrendering ourselves to the process of ageing. That surrender needs to be done gracefully, with love to ourselves and others and peacefully.

This can be done by ageing with intention.

Intention is a field of energy just like love, determination, fear, and so on. If you look at the blogs on my website for July and August 2015, you will find several articles or blogs on using the Law of Attraction in our ageing process. The Laws of the Universe can be likened to these energies. In short, what you believe is what you get.

So we can use this energy of intention to age with purpose, peace, love and joy.

If we go into our older years, expecting trouble then that is what we will get.

Many of the problems of getting older are real, they are there, and we cannot escape them. It is what we do with these problems and how we deal with them that counts.  In other words, it is our perception that is the key. Along with our intention. 

I hear jokes from people saying that they are “going to make life as difficult as possible for my children as I age!” Another one-liner coming from many Baby Boomers these days is “I’m spending all the children’s inheritance!”

Whether you do or you don’t, let’s consider what difference having an intention can make.

My own intention is to be a Wise Elder to my children, friends, neighbours, grandchildren (if they give me a chance!) I also enjoy writing articles and sharing lots of positive stuff on Social Media. I love the internet and try to use it wisely.

I follow people who I know can teach me something. I do not pretend to know it all, we all learn something every day if we keep an open mind.

Did you know that learning is the best thing that you can do for the health of your brain?

We can also learn from our past. We are constantly told to forget the past, it’s gone, just look to the future.

I am not saying to dwell in the past, or even to blame our past for how we feel now. Some people go through life as the hurt or damaged child and just stay there.

My suggestion is that we can go into our past with a new intention.

Seeing our past as an experience that will help our children and younger people, is a lot different to dwelling in the past and calling the past “The Good Old Days.”

When young people see us “wrinklies” it is easy for them to dismiss us as past it, or too old to understand. But when I recently told a younger person about my experience of bringing up kids alone as a Naval wife, divorce, betrayal and caringsupportwhbankruptcy, they were astonished. And realised that I had been there, and I know what it is like. I was able to identify with what she was going through, and although I would never completely understand, I knew enough to help.

Another intention of mine is to make my older years as full and enjoyable as possible. Starting with being grateful for everything I have, from being able to at least see most things, even though I have a sight problem. Being grateful for a roof over my head, even if it is not in a district that I would like to be. Being grateful that I could walk the extra mile this morning when the bus driver failed to stop at my usual bus stop. Yes, I was annoyed, but it did not take long for me to see the funny side of it, and I just said to her that she is obviously in another world, rather than complain to her.

There is so much to be grateful for. Have a look at this blog that I wrote twelve months ago for more on Ageing with Gratitude.

http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com/category/ageing/page/2/

Notice again Wayne Dyer’s definition.

Intention is a field of energy that flows invisibly beyond the reach of our normal, everyday habitual patterns. 

Notice particularly. The words, beyond the reach of our normal, everyday habitual patterns.

We can make our older years the time to change those habitual patterns in our life. It is not too late. Keep reading and stay with me for more to come.

Start with this intention and you are on the road to having a happy and vital older age.

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Surrender to Age?

 

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As we go through our lives, we unconsciously make transitions through several changes in our lives.

But only unconsciously as we define it in our eyes.

Because in a lot of ways we make conscious decisions, or they are made for us.

When we are born, we are placed in the care of adults. We may be born to that adult, or they may adopt us in some way. In any case, we would not survive without being in the care of a responsible adult. Consequently, they are making decisions for us.

We are all greatly influenced by others decisions for us, but as we grow older, we start to realise that many of these decisions are not the ones which we would choose for ourselves. They have not been conscious, informed decisions.

So when we reach our teenage years, we can rebel. Often we rebel in a diverse way, far apart from anything that our carers think is the right thing.

We almost become strangers to ourselves. If we do not make a choice at this age, and just go along with the status quo, and what is expected of us, it will happen sooner or later.

I did not become aware that I had a choice until I turned forty years of age. When it did happen there were consequences that literally brought the roof down over my head! (Details will be in a book that I have decided to write!)

I did not “surrender to getting married, having children and being a good little Christian and housewife.  All the time that I was in this role, my spirit was rebelling. I was not submissive, although people around me were telling me I should be. What I did, was go along with the flow and “give in” to what I thought was expected of me. That was what good little women should do. I had been taught that if I went against the flow, there would be dire consequences. And so I lived in fear.

In my previous blog, I talked about the difference, with ageing,  between “giving in” and “surrender.”  I promised  I would tell you the difference.

My story above is a typical example. I will add that there were dire consequences, but, at the end of the day, I am so glad that I did not spend the rest of my life in a “giving in” and boring way. The life that I have had since I stopped giving in, has been exciting and I feel liberated.

When we know the truth, it will make us free!

We are ageing throughout our lives. In many cases, we are giving in, especially while we are children and naïve. Maturity brings wisdom. As we go through life, we start to make conscious choices, or not. Some people never make consious choices, and live their entire lives doing what is expected of them or “giving in.”

If we don’t make conscious choices, then we will just go along with or give in to what our peers or elders expect. We may smoke, drink or not. We may eat healthily or not. We may decide to have a baby because our friends have them. We may decide to have sex because everyone else seems to be doing it.

This is not surrendering, it is giving in to what is expected of us.

So what about retirement and the third age?

We expect to have certain illnesses. We are expected just to go on outings. We are expected to join the senior citizens club.

We have less energy, become forgetful, may need a stick, not see so well. Become hard of hearing.

We start to lose friends to death, or to Dementia.

We feel as if we are falling into an abyss of old age, and it can be frightening and depressing. BUT ONLY IF YOU ALLOW IT, BY JUST GIVING IN to what is expected.

Consequently as a younger person, usually in our late fifties or early sixties, we start to become aware of these things happening, and we become afraid, deny it is happening and try everything we can to avoid it.

This is where surrender comes in. This is where we make conscious decisions.ConsciousAgingLogo

While we are in our sixties, we need to start planning ahead. Look at surrendering to ageing, with an intention.

If you are reading this as an older person, you can start to change things now.  It is never too late.

We can fight the older years, become stressed out with the battle, and make ourselves ill, frail, depressed or lonely.

OR, we can give in and go along with the flow of what is expected.

OR, best of all, we can surrender to the ageing process, but at the same time find out what our intention will be in our older years.

With intention, life in our older years can be a pleasure.

My next blog will be about how we can have intention in our older age, and see those years as Eldership, not just being old.

For more on Ageing with Vitality, go to http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com

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Do we want to grow old?

 

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Do we want to grow old?

If not, what is the alternative?

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.  Don Marquis

And it’s true, isn’t it?

This week was a very sad one when a friend of mine buried her 36-year-old daughter who had died of a brain tumour. Do you think the daughter would have liked to grow old? It was not easy for her to live long enough certainly.

Someone said to me recently “Don’t get old dear, it’s not nice.” I asked what the alternative would be, and she couldn’t find an answer. But we know, don’t we?

We, humans, are a funny lot don’t you think?

We want to live a long life, yet we spend most of that life fighting the business of ageing. And it starts in our late twenties. Many people of that age will live for another 70 years!! But as soon as there is the slightest sign of a grey hair or fine lines at the side of our eyes, we start to fight nature. Has it occurred to you that all we need to do is enjoy our lives, take good care of our bodies, and put ageing on the back burner. Believe me, it is going to happen, unless you die young!

Face Creams, Facelifts, anti-ageing products abound. How to stop the wrinkles, is the mainstay of many an advert to rob you of your money.

We want what we perceive is the ideal. Live a long life, but don’t age. Stay looking young, don’t have wrinkles, don’t go grey. When we have a colour we hear “Hey your hair looks great, makes you look a lot younger!”

Instead of learning about making the best of our latter years, we dread them. We treat them like a forbidden territory. We shun the thought of everything related to old age.

Many of us deny we will ever get old.

But until the day when there is a magic pill, we have to face that moment when we have to admit it is catching up with us.

The energy levels are not quite what they used to be. Bedtime gets earlier. We look in the mirror, and there is an older face in the way of the face we would like to see. We get back ache when standing too long. We notice people giving up their seats for us. (Yes! That does still happen.)

However, this does not mean that you have to give up and be old.

It does mean that you need to surrender, though.

Well, you may say, isn’t that the same thing as giving up?

The answer is a resounding “No.”

More about how to surrender to ageing tomorrow.

(And that does not mean surrendering to an old age that brings misery; quite the contrary.)

I hope that I have roused your curiosity.

For more on how to age consciously and with vitality, go to;

http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com

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