Whatever!

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Whatever!

How often do you use that expression?

Sometimes when we are discussing something, and the other person begins to feel they are losing the argument. They will just say “whatever?”

Or if the other person or even you, doesn’t mind what the choice is when you are both trying to make up your mind what to do, it’s a useful word, right?

But have you stopped to think about the effects this could have? Either good or bad. Whatever!

I found myself using it this morning when I found myself waiting at a bus stop in the rain, for a bus that I found out afterwards had broken down. But I just said “whatever” and enjoyed listening to Wayne Dyer, a spiritual writer and teacher on my iPhone Audio.

Of course, it all depends on the attitude you may have about the word.

Does it mean you couldn’t care less?

Does it mean that you genuinely don’t mind because you want what’s best for the other person?

Or does it have a deeper meaning because you mean that you just want to “Let Go and Let God?”

I have got into a way of thinking now, that no matter what happens, even standing in the rain, I just “Let Go”. While I was waiting, and listening to Wayne, I simply thought that somehow it really did not matter, because there must be a good reason, and “All is well”.

Instead of focusing on the fact that the bus was late, I focused on the fact that there was a shelter and I was not getting wet. In the end, I waited for forty minutes. But I felt that it was worth it because it gave me valuable time to listen to Wayne narrating his book “The Power of Intention”, and I was away from the pressures of home life.

So it is with everything in life. You can let yourself be stressed out over something or you can just “Let Go”.  Whatever.

It is just the same with Ageing.ConsciousAgingLogo

People in western society see death as something to fear. I believe that there are many reasons for this. Fear of illness, fear of loneliness and fear of dependency on others. But the big one is fear of death.

As Wayne Dyer was saying (see I told you there was a reason that bus was late), it is easier for us to pretend that death is not going to happen to us. Our thinking is that it happens to everyone else. So we go through life unprepared and in denial.

Many of us don’t prepare, even when we are older. I was talking to a friend yesterday who is 91 this year. When I told her that I am training to be a Funeral Celebrant, she was horrified. She thought that it was very peculiar to be thinking about death and funerals, it’s something that she would rather not think about.

I am now 71 and am hoping that I will live a healthy life, supporting others for at least another 25 years. By then I think that I will be ready to retire. There is every possibility that this can happen as there is longevity in my family.

I admit that I do not want to die yet. Simply because I still have so much that I want to do.life journal

But I am willing to be ready for the day. If you know of Wayne Dyer, you will know that he died at the age of 75 last August. At first, it seemed a mystery why this happened when he was doing so much good in the world with his inspirational teaching. But all the same, he was ready.

Death is simply another dimension. One that we don’t understand. But we are simply going back to the state that we were in before we were born on earth.

I think that we need to be prepared from the physical point of view, for ageing and dying. Such as knowing what we would like our loved ones to do with our possessions, funeral and disposal of our body.

While we are still alive, we need to look after our physical bodies to keep as healthy as possible. A nutritious diet, very little alcohol, no smoking and keeping active rather than strenuous exercise.

Keep our minds active, by learning, reading and stretching our creativeness.

And keep our Spiritual lives in a healthy place too. No matter what our beliefs, it is good to have a meditative, prayerful and inspirational aspect.

My design Keep your eye.

What can we give to others?

Rather than thinking about what we can get, we need to be ready to give. No matter what state we are in with health, wealth or happiness.

We can all spread and give away, love, peace and joy, or we can give away destructive thoughts that do no one any good, ourselves or others, by constant moaning and complaining about what we have not got, instead of being grateful for what we have. Misery perpetuates misery, and joy perpetuates joy.

Did you know that when you perform an act of kindness, your body produces more Serotonin, the feel good hormone? The same with receiving kindness, and even when you witness an act of kindness.

So no matter what age we are, it is excellent to be prepared for the day that we die. We could die tomorrow. But if you are ready, and you have faced up to the fact that you are going to die, then you can get on with your life and not be afraid.

If you take care of your mind, body and spirit, then you can make the most of every moment of your life.

You can live in the NOW, and you can honestly say “Whatever!” and mean it.

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Obesity and Type 2 Diabetes.

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Following up yesterdays blog. I have just watched Michael Moseley on BBC television, talking about his experience with Type 2 Diabetes. 

He was apparently diagnosed with the disease, and talked about the importance of losing weight. He also went on to say that we need to cut down on sugary and carby foods.

He did this, lost weight, and now his T2 is under control without drugs.

Did you know that there is a way that you can tackle both diseases together? If you eat less sugar and carby foods, you will lose weight. And you can control, if not cure the Type 2 diabetes.

I wrote yesterday about “The Rebellious Diet,”  In other words my book called “Design Your Own Diet.” in which I have covered this whole subject.

So there are three advantages.

  • You can make up your own diet and rules with the guidance from this book
  • You can lose weight and reverse the chance of getting Diabetes
  • If you are quick, then you can obtain the ebook or a PDF FREE in the next two days.

It is FREE on Amazon today and tomorrow. (18th and 19th Jan)

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00O3HGHNK

– http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00O3HGHNK

If you are not an Amazon fan and do not have kindle, then please feel free to contact me and I will send you a FREE PDF on those two days.

Read yesterdays blog on www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com

trishcherry734@gmail.com

 

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The Rebellious Diet!

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Are you tired of being told that you are fat, or need to lose weight, or that you don’t eat properly?

Are you tired of feeling bullied?

By the medical profession, or by the media, family, friends or work collegues.

But you are feeling rebellious and won’t listen or take action.

Yet deep down, you know that they are right, but you don’t want “them” to see that they are.

Of course it may be that the voice is coming from within you. You know that it’s right, but somehow you manage to ignore it.

How would it feel to walk into a room or the surgery in a few months and shock people with your success?

How would it feel to say “I did it my way?”

There is an old saying “Don’t cast your pearls before swine.” In other words, if you tell people what you are doing, they will be cheering because they think they are right, they will be watching you and making remarks, or they will be giving their opinions and throw you off Piste.

The secret is; “Don’t tell anyone what you are doing”!

I have written two books that may be the answer to your problems.

Kindle_Cover_Edited“Design your own diet” is to help you to do it your way. It could be the perfect answer for a rebel like you. You can sit with this book and work out a way of eating and thinking, that is entirely your own. No rules except the ones that YOU make. The subtitle is “My Ideas, My results” that means yours and no-one elses.

Take the oppurtunity to get it FREE on Amazon kindle on Monday 19th Jan and Tuesday 20th.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00O3HGHNK

– http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00O3HGHNK

25 diets 3d coverIf you don’t want to do that “How to Spot the Best Diet” may suit you. But that way you may have to stick to someone elses rules. However, I or someone I know have tried them all, and know which ones work.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00P947GLS
– http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00P947GLS

All the best in your journey towards a new life.

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Hallo Death, How Are You?

 

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Have you ever thought about interviewing or saying hallo to death?

I would like to introduce you to a friend, coach and writer who has written this article for us. Her name is Jane Duncan Rogers. 

After the death of her husband Phillip, she wrote a book called “Gifted by Grief” so without any further ado, here is Jane’s article.

Also here is a link to the latest news from Jane and her workshops. 

Please also see more information about Jane at the end of the blog. 

http://us1.campaign-archive2.com/?u=abf4181acad7c24db486eba97&id=642f1e02d4&e=3ba057bc39

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Hallo Death, How Are You?

This might seem an odd question to ask. Who really wants to know how Death is? Most of us, most of the time, want to pretend it doesn’t exist. That is, until it barges into our life, sneaks stealthily in through the window, or surprises us by jumping out from behind a bush.

 

When that happens, we get a shock. The shock of an accident; of a life-threatening diagnosis, a suicide, or death through drugs. There are numerous forms in which Death visits.

 

However, we can lessen the impact of the visit by becoming friendlier with Death before it visits of its own accord. It’s not that we won’t be shocked, that may still be there. It’s just that if we have familiarized ourselves with it at least conceptually, then its visit can be accepted as less of an imposition, and more of part of being a fully alive person.

 

Okay, okay, I know this is all fine in theory. But when you are alive and kicking, then the theory is all we have!  And to get to know Death you have to start from where you are in relation to it. That will be informed by your upbringing, your experience of it so far in your life, and the other myriad ways your friends and family relate to it too.

 

So here’s some questions to ponder on:

 

  1. What’s your first reaction to the word ‘death’?

I’ve always been interested in this as a concept, have read a lot about death and dying, and have felt intrigued by it, rather than frightened. How do you feel?

 

  1. How do you feel when you hear someone you know well has died? Is it different if you were very close to them, as opposed to someone you just knew slightly? How?

 

Answering this question (even in the abstract) will help you come to terms with the meaning that death has in general, but also specifically when it enters your own life in a bigger way.

 

  1. How do you feel about dying yourself? For me, its’ back to curiosity. Now I can’t say that for sure, as I’ve never been diagnosed with a life threatening illness, or come close to dying. But from the standpoint of an alive body, curious is the right world for me. What about you?

 

  1. If you were going to have a conversation with Death, what would you say? What do you think you would hear? (I recommend actually doing this in your journal. Use a different coloured pen for Death and your own words. If you find it difficult to do, you can make it easier by designating a chair as being one that Death is going to sit in. Then go and sit in it, and behave as if you were Death, having a conversation with you. Then you can embody Death (so to speak!) and tune in to what it may have to say. When I did this exercise for myself, I heard/felt the words: “Thank you for asking. I am impersonal. I am benign. It is not your time yet”. In my body I felt unexpectedly relaxed and at ease.

 

These were some of the questions that my husband and I faced when he was diagnosed with stomach cancer. Re number 4, we attended a Family Constellations workshop during what turned out to be Philip’s last year, and he had a dialogue with Death. We both learnt a lot.

 

However, these questions are not easy ones at the best of times, and definitely not easy when someone so close has their life threatened by death. Philip, after the initial shock, was very clear he did not want to enter into a battle with cancer, as is so often spoken about. However, he did want to treat it as a (somewhat unwelcome) guest that had a message for him and could then leave.

 

In the end, the cancer did not leave, and he died, but not before he and I had been able to have several conversations about death. This was helpful, and particularly helpful for me after he died.

 

We also were able to answer questions from what became known between us as The List – a series of questions sent to us in an email from a good friend who was pretty insistent that we answered them before Philip died.

 

I wrote about this in my book, Gifted By Grief: A True Story of Cancer, Loss and Rebirth, here’s the excerpt:

 

 

“Come on, we’re going to do The List properly now.” Philip was still reluctant, but, lying in bed, with me and the laptop next to him, he didn’t have a chance. “It’s going to make a huge difference to me in the future, darling, and besides, Barbara will just nag us if we don’t.”

“Yeah, all right then.”

Poor Philip – for a man afraid of dying, this was an amazing act of courage, another step in the acceptance of what was happening. We began at the beginning, and continued on until the end, referring to it later as our final project together. In those two hours, I asked him the questions, and he gave me his answers.

There were all kinds of questions, from the most basic such as “What kind of coffin do you want?” to which he replied, “Any old box will do,” to more sensitive ones, such as “Are there any of your personal items you would like to leave to anyone in particular?”. This one we discussed in much more detail. It was tough; these are difficult questions to ask of somebody who knows he is going to be dying sooner than later. Feeling a great sense of achievement afterwards, we were very close, connected and loving for the rest of that weekend. Who would have thought that? It ended up being a couple of hours of slightly macabre enjoyment.

I’ve put together these questions now into a document The List: Questions to Ask and Answer Before You Die and you can get your free copy here http://www.giftedbygrief.com/list

And do visit my website and get the first 2 chapters of my book for free!

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Please note that the document The List: Questions to Ask and Answer Before You Die is FREE for only a limited time. 

Please feel free to comment, contact me on trishcherry734@gmail.com. or join us in the Facebook group, Ageing with Vitality. 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/113172222365276/

Now that we have got onto this difficult and unusual subject, there will be more to follow. Namaste.happycherry_cover

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To Age or Not To Age

Vector icon of justice scalesThat is the question.

What’s more, would we rather have the quality of life or quantity?

Are we more afraid of death or more afraid of living with ill health?

I watched a programme recently about the scientific research into anti-ageing.

Laura Denning. Of Venture Capitalist and a Biologist, and Cynthia Kenyon PH.D. of the UCSF School of Medicine, VP Calico and Gordon J. Lithgow, PH.D. of the Buck Institute for the Reversal of Ageing. 

These scientists have done extensive research but need better funding.

Their goal is to achieve less sickness at the end of life.

As things stand, money is being poured into diseases such as cancer, diabetes and heart disease, which result in many people being kept alive for longer, but developing the diseases that old age brings.

For example, the dreaded fall.

Falling is something that is dreaded in older years, because it usually results in broken bones, and triggers off many other problems. Simply because our bones become brittle as we age.

As the western world prolongs life with drugs keeping people alive, we are bringing the problem of diseases such as diabetes, dementia, more cancer cases and frailty.

What these scientists are saying is that a drug to arrest the ageing process is just as important as drugs for the diseases that old age brings. But there is no funding for that.

A bit like building something with faulty cement, and when the building starts to crumble, it is patched up for as long as possible. But no one can enter it because it’s dangerous. Think about the disaster of the cement cancer from the 70’s and 80’s.

Ideally, we would all like to be healthy until shortly before we die. But what is happening is that many people are being kept alive and are needing care for many years. They cannot go very far; they become housebound and many of them are lonely. Pain and discomfort become unbearable.

I have witnessed the distress of someone coming out of the hospital after a major operation and being sent back home. Yes, they do have carers coming in, three times a day for about 7 minutes. But the person then spends the rest of their day lonely, uncomfortable and frightened to move, or unable to.

I do not like using economics as a reason personally, but nevertheless, it is becoming an issue. There is an anomaly in the fact that one side of the welfare business is keeping people alive, and the other side is saying that there is not enough money to give appropriate care. The criteria for people entering care if they cannot pay for it themselves is based on points, and if you are “just” afraid and lonely, that is not valid criteria. When making enquiries for someone recently about care because of social isolation, I was told, “Get the GP to give her something to calm her nerves.”

The other reason that governments are finding it impossible to give the necessary care is that there are now too many old people to look after, to do the job properly.

The programme claimed that a healthy lifestyle is not necessarily enough. When interviewing centenarians on the programme some of them smoked, others loved their outing to “Dunking Doughnuts” every day. I doubt that the research and interviewing techniques were totally valid with this.

But the research is saying that the longevity is in the genes. Have they taken Epigenetics into account? Epigenetics is a science that says that although we may have certain genes that can lead to disease, this can be controlled and even reversed by a change in lifestyle.

However, getting back to the subject. These scientists as a team, have approached the FDA  to ask for more funding into anti-ageing because they are saying that if they find a way to stave off ageing, this will automatically stop or reduce the diseases that old age is bringing with it.

They have already found a mutant gene that is delaying the process in mice. They have also found that Metformin, which is a drug used for diabetics, has a promising outlook. They say that they don’t want the focus on the Metformin, but they would like to do research as to why.

I wonder whether it is not the Metformin, but the fact that Diabetics eat less sugar!

They did approach the FDA and apparently the outcome was very promising.

Meanwhile, though, what about us who are already in our senior years?

Ezekiel Emmanuel. M.D. Ph.D. of the UPenn Dept of Medical Ethics and Health Policy (USA) says that he will opt out of any drug that is doing nothing but keeping him alive after the age of 75. He is 70 at the moment and fit. He wants the focus for the rest of his life to be on “Living, not Longevity.”  He also believes that a pill for anti-ageing will never exist. We shall see, or perhaps not in my lifetime.

So, back to the question of to age or not to age.

When the time comes for you to make a choice what will you do?

Are you more afraid of death than you are of the perils of being kept half alive?

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